Melbourne

How Melbourne sees MelbourneThe reality

Flying into Melbourne on a good day, there are enough breaks in the clouds to see Port Phillip Bay, around which, the city grew.  With a water temperature that rarely makes it above 19C it is best not swim in there without neoprene protection, unless you are from Scotland or need some ice water muscle rehab.

This flat, grid based city on a dirty brown river that supposedly runs upside down, has no outstanding structure visible that the world would instantly recognise as “Melbawn”.  It is a dead ringer for any other city that has tall buildings and commuters.  A fantasy many of the locals have, is that Melbourne is Australia’s most European city. How they have come to this conclusion is unfathomable.

Kinder interstate travelers will often say “at least you don’t need a passport to visit” and “you can get a good cup of coffee there” which is praise indeed for a city of over 3 million people … they have coffee. The weather certainly won’t impress.  The legendary four changes of season in a day (if you’re lucky) keeps the locals on their toes, as they need at least three clothing changes at all times and usually all black in this faux Paris.

Summer is a whole three weeks when the winds move around from the usual chilly damp Antarctic blast to the roasting northern desert winds. It is like opening an oven door in an ice rink.  After ten minutes, everything is so dry, it is now a time of high bush fire alert with life in peril.  Do not expect palm trees and sunshine, most of the year is cold, only the temperate Canary palm can survive the icy blasting that is great for clearing a hangover, but the weather may have been the reason for resorting to alcohol the previous night. The sharp freezing winds are probably the reason Australians from northern states refer to Melbourne as “bleak city” and why locals, nearing the end of their lives, dream of traveling north in a caravan toward warm weather.  After all, any means that can get them out of the place before they die, will do.

The continual background hum you will hear originates from copious banal conversations about “footy” or AFL. Here everyone worships AFL, a quaint coloqial sport that has become a doomsday cult, with the end of the world predicted to arrive in the shape of a round soccer ball. AFL has masticised into Melbourne, it oozes from every brick and pore of the city, it watches you. AFL invades every conversation, talking recipes? AFL will get in there well before the fan forced oven temperature recommendation. If you do not convert, you will be shunned at work from the Monday morning footy results chatter, all the way through to the Friday afternoon footy tipping predictions and all the mindless AFL banter between. You also risk being run out of town.  The only escape is moving across running water, the Murray will suffice but the Tweed will be safer. If you have been brought up inside the cult, you will be blind and continue to worship at the large ugly concrete bunker that is the MCG, but to outsiders the cult is a freakish marriage of sport and religion.

All is not bad, crime is very organised and active. As a city of tradition, crime is kept in family structures but they are mostly bungling and inept just like all their good friends in the police force. Melbourne is a multicultural city and boasts gangs whose origins are from all over the globe and show remarkable inclusive tendencies by picking victims from all backgrounds and religions.

Melbourne is extremely traditional and hierarchical, don’t you dare stir the pot, locals like it as it is and how it has always been. Happily living the same year over and over again. Living there more than a year is a waste of time. Grand Final, Spring Racing Carnival and Bush Fire Alerts all scheduled with the same news items with the same scripts each year, the writers of “Ground Hog Day” must have been to Melbourne. It is the 1950s with internet.

Tourism bosses needing to show a fascinating city previously chose to advertise Melbourne as having a giant ball of string, I cannot imagine the disappointment when visitors found there was no ball of string.
      Kicker

  1. I spent 2 weeks in Melbourne it was a hole, I would have even flown Tiger to get out.

  2. Here’s a tip for visiting Melbourne – don’t let the locals know there are other places outside Victoria they think that Melbourne is the centre of the unviverse and all human kind love AFL. I never had a summer there in the 7 years I lived there, just the occasional very hot day. Melbournians are so up themselves they can see out of their mouths. The only good thing about the place is there are no security fences to stop you escaping north.

  3. Melbourne is a sulking teenager jealous of its older and more attractive sibling, Sydney. All that sulking make it an even more horrible place than it is. Get over yourself Melbourne, you’re not number one and I don’t think you are even number two anymore.

  4. I visited Melbourne once. It was a nice city. I liked the trams especially. One could perhaps even tolerate living there if the weather didn’t completely suck. How the three million Melbournians manage it, I’ll never know.

  5. have you ever seen a newspaper in Melbourne? ‘Insert AFL team here’ front, back and sport section. The sports section on the tv news is AFL then an add then a general sports wrap up of other sports. I guess with a city accomodating multiple AFL teams you get a wide range of fans – toothless, mullet, beer gut bogans (Collingwood) to the snobs. AFL final is at the G – you sign up now, you may have a membership in 40 or 50 years!

  6. from http://jaccerz.com ….”I really hate Melbourne. I used to love it, but now I hate it. After working two jobs in the city, I have realised that the people of Melbourne are oppurtunists. For example:

    Trams and Trains: It doesnt matter if you get on a packed train at the first stop, and by halfway through the ride, it is emptied due to people changing to go to another line, and as you move to sit down, someone who just gone on, pushes you out of the way so they can sit down on the seat you were heading for.

    Shopping: Many times Ive stood inline to buy whatever I wanted at the time, to have snotty girls dressed like they should be working at hooters to push in infront of me and to take longer to pay due to their phone coversation. Typically this consists of “ohhhhhh my godddddd” and other shit that I couldnt really give two hoots about.

    There are many other examples, to me it makes me question Is Melbourne really the most liveable city?”

  7. Melburnians seem to think everyone else is inferior and are very ‘clicky’ and even ‘snobby’.

  8. Trams are great until one breaks down then none can move

  9. FromScratchToGlory

    % Things I hate about Melbourne:
    1) Melbourne weather :- the most unpredictable of all. Amazing windy mornings…one can go out with out jacket, it’ll be around 12*c..Then in the afternoon out of know where a drizzle followed by cloudy skies. When its around 6pm, a biting cold weather fills the air, taking effect from top to bottom .
    2) Tram ticket Checkers:- If there was a community of people who are painful while they are at work, then they are these folks. They check even at 11.30pm, and put a fine on a person who couldn’t buy a ticket in the first instance. Hawk eyed, and for international sudents like me these dudes create the first instance of facing melbournians.
    3) TV Channels – If in any country where TV programs are called crap. Then aus should be also in that list. If one cannot subscribe a 60$ ~ cable TV..be prepared to settle for utter crap.
    4) No burning activity :- No lallu prasad yadav or goerge bush in action. Its a silent and well structured place.
    5) Food – Even with many asian food courts, i feel the food is not so good. For a vegetarian it is very much limited. For non vegetarians chicken is the only thing which is almost always in the menu.

  10. Melbourne has declared itself “sporting capital of the world.” Let me tell you all, Melbourne has ZERO power and ZERO influence in the sporting world.
    None of the world’s sporting bodies eg. FIFA, IOC, ICC, IAAF, IRB, CGF, PGA etc.. have their headquarters in Melbourne. None of the big decisions and changes that occur …in the sports world are made in Melbourne.
    Melbourne does NOT call the shots in the sporting world.
    Sporting capital, my arse…….

    • It’s the sporting capital because it hosts the Australian Open, F1, TT bikes, AFL grand final, top NRL team, majority of AFL teams and every year hosts a world class soccer tournament. No other city plays host to that many top sport events.

      • The WORLD… sporting capital of the WORLD. You probably need to get out more if you think Melbourne has anywhere near as many world class sporting events as dozens of cities in the US and hundreds of other cities worldwide, then you’re the epitome of what is wrong with Melbourne.

      • NicerUpNorth

        Australian Open is a grand slam event but there are 3 others and Melbourne is the smallest. F1 – not really sport but there are 19 other events anually and Melbourne is the smallest. AFL doesn’t count at all as it is a quaint local sport for southern parts of Australia with no interest any where else. NRL sort of the same but for QLD and NSW does have a bigger TV audience though. World Class soccer tournament??? Australia has never had one. I suggest a trip to the opticians to cure your Melbourne Myopia.
        Sporting capital my arse.

      • Afl twice, nice work.

  11. There is no train link from Melbourne to the airport, if you hire a car you will have to pay tolls, if you take the bus it is expensive and takes you nowhere near where you need to go and if you use a taxi remember to have a smart phone on babelfish. This is all because Melbourne does not want you there, it only wants those who can be picked up from the airport, themselves.

  12. Whenever I go to Melbourne, people there always go out of their way to say something negative about Sydney…they obsess about it. They say we in Sydney think we are so much better and always want to one up poor Melbourne..the real truth is people in Sydney see Malbin’ as just another Australian city where people talk funny (like Adelaide) and play a stupid footy game. Thats it…we don’t obsess about you…we just ignore you. Get over yourselves.

  13. Just back from there. Hoon capital of Australia, trains dangerous and covered in graffiti, ditto the stations. Some shops closed down, cold and miserable weather, it must have taken some dining out to get that guernsey

  14. Melbourne? Horrible, grey, dirty, depressing little town.

    • Well said Tory Boy. Against my wishes, have to live in this despicable, backwards, shanty town!

    • I hate Melbourne and I was born here I fact I hate the whole country.fuck you Australia

      • robert burgos

        Yes living in Australia is starting to get to me. Its over rated and badly managed by the politicians who just dont get it. Its a shitty place if you are single and there is no shortage of shitheads in and out of the work place.

    • I just spent 4 days in Melbourne and couldn’t believe how dirty and loud it is. So much construction which is obviously funded from WAs share of the GST. The only food appears to be Asian dumplings, bubble tea or maccas. So disappointed and so changed since I was last there 3 years ago. I think I will stick to travelling to Noosa or anywhere really that isn’t Melbourne.

  15. Most livable city? the most livable city for criminals, you need to kill at least 3 persons to get life sentence, first 2 murders only get 10 years jail. Also good for being lazy, you don’t need to work to get government handouts. Finally the most livable is public transport, government spent 3.6billion dollars, 7 years could not get the bloody ticket system going, you can ride free.

    • I came here years ago, to play music and what a mistake
      that was..
      The amount of ego maniacs here I have seen I was
      gob smacked, at open mikes etc, it made me want to vomit.

      Comparison states..
      I have been all around Australia and liked
      Darwin, Perth (rocked) Queensland up north, like Cairns is awesome!

      Adelaide is great if you like it more quiet and it’s safer.
      The amount of violence I ve seen here over the last few years is appalling.

      The night life..
      I have seen girls fighting like
      wild cats in Richmond inside a cab,
      where the inside of the door seal was
      ripped off and strewn on the pavement
      amongst high heels, broken makeup and
      other bits of clothing.

      I have seen mass brawls in the city in one night club, where there were numerous
      amount of police panel vans and security
      cars deployed in Melbourne one night
      few years ago..
      I had also seen mass
      brawls in St Kilda and also a friend of mine was put in hospital by a thug..

      Beaches…
      What can I say here, St Kilda really, Melbourne has the most ugliest beaches, not
      just in Australia, but the whole planet unless
      you drive hours away, and I wish someone
      would take a crowbar to those horrible, over priced bathing
      boxes pull em apart and have a huge bonfire on a cold winters night!!

      The city…
      The city is ugly going over the Westgate
      and traffic is always bottle necked on most roads.
      The city itself is ugly and cold, it reminds
      me of Gotham City with the buildings
      and apartments rising like a cancer.

      Infrastructure…
      Public transport is almost below average
      in performance for a large city..
      We all know about over crowding on trams, trains and buses, which is very similar to third world conditions, this is no exaggeration, these, are facts..
      So much money wasted in prettying up Southern Cross which could of been pumped
      into an already over strained system..

      Housing…

      The terrace houses are so ugly.
      I would like to drive a huge bull dozer
      like the one in “Avatar” and demolish
      the whole lot of them!!
      This feeble attempt at architecture
      of the most horrid kind is on par
      with this damn housing affordability crises!!

      My experience here..
      From my detailed observation from living in Melbourne, it ain’t the most liveable city by
      far, and what a load if old cobblers!!!
      I have a name for this place and its
      nickname is “psycho city”…
      Sorry, but this is a fact, as I have never
      seen so many angry people living in cohesion
      with one another, maybe it’s the city
      itself with all its corruption and multinationals company cash cows, drug dealers, corrupt government services or an ever increasing narcissistic culture, most vile, feeding coal in the mouth of this big hungry beast we call, Melbourne…

  16. Melbourne sucks – I know, because I live here.

    • I’m a Canadian living in Melbourne (unfortunately) and I can assure you that compared to Canadian cities Melbourne is indeed an extremely drab, dreary, run down, dirty brown dump of a city. Truly an depressing place.

      • Well fuck off back to Canada u moose fucking whale eater

      • NicerUpNorth

        David, I hope you enjoyed Danny’s typical Melbourne hospitality

      • That’s how Melbourne ppl are, nice work Danny surprised u can write ..

      • Totally agree. It’s got to at least be warmer than Canada but still not warm enough for my liking and the bogan mentality plaguing the city is enough to drive you into being a hermit.

  17. Melbourne seems to be built around bogans watching sport and getting drunk. My foreign friends are shocked when they come here, the city is pretty much dead by 6pm, remaining activities are largely limited to drinking alcohol, McDonalds or going home at 7pm because there’s nothing to in the CBD.

    • I’ve been in Melbourne for 2 years… and I’m going nuts!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it. It’s an ugly place that they’ve tried desperately to dress up. I love the markets, but, that’s about it. Unfortunately, they really aren’t worth living here for. I’ve lived in 4 different places since I’ve been here and I can’t do it anymore. I grew up in Sydney, and it does suck. But, at least the weather is good and it’s easy to find somewhere pretty to relax and unwind, or at least live!!!

      I’m so over living in Melbourne. It’s really not a nice place to live.

      I’m out of here when my lease is up. Ewww, I hate it. I’m glad it’s not just me. I felt like I might be mentally unwell, but, I think it’s actually that this place is massively awful. I can’t wait to move.

      • yep, i lived there two years to. I am from Brisbane originally and Melbourne was one of the biggest disappointments and bad decisions of my life. The people here go on and on about how good they are how they are so accepting of foreigners and how they decided to become vegan. But the truth is they are horrible people. The amount of dirty looks and remarks made at your expense while walking through certain suburbs just for not wearing the proper clothing or the standard dull Melbourne colours. People must be so bored here all they do is look for problems with people who aren’t Melbourne enough. And don’t get me started on the women!! seriously it is a dull depressing city full of narcissistic, social climbing assholes!! We have been sold a lie about this place!!

  18. – Worst Public transport ( Crappy Trains and useless Myki)
    – Violent friday nights in the city
    – Nasty road work and traffic in the city
    – Crappy Airport

  19. I did “live” and I mean “live” there last year! It’s a hole! The only reason so many people attend an AFL game is because there is NOTHING else to do down there! It’s a flat waste land.

    I love the way you think you’re a cosmopolitan city but seriously you’re a big country town with some class divide between the haves and the have nots!

    I thought the whole Sydney v Melbourne things was a myth until I lived there! We don’t care about Melbourne!

    Your alcohol is a rip off because you’re want to be European – in a laneway IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER! And your claim to fame as far as food goes is “Parma and a pot”! And let’s not start of the weather …. the floods in the middle of the city … and the dirty brown swamp that runs through it.

    The reason you’ve voted yourselves No. 1 is testament to the fact that there really is nothing else to do down there!!

  20. I have lived in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Tokyo, London, Singapore and Munich. The shortest continuous time I have spent in any of them is ten months. The only one I wouldn’t live in again is Melbourne.
    Why? My feeling is that the benefit of being in Australia is in the weather and the beaches. Melbourne doesn’t have that. For food, transport, shopping and culture (unless you are a complete ignoramus) there is simply no Australian city that is even at the starting line – including Melbourne.

  21. 1) This chip on many Melbourne shoulders about Sydney… sorry peeps, get over it. Sydney is the bigger, more prominent city. Who cares? Melbourne is not attractive compared to Sydney, no “real” beaches (c’mon, Port Phillip bay does not count!) no bridge… again, who cares?
    2) “Who do you barrack for”? The first thing anyone I met for two years said to me… wtf?
    3) Level crossings – the only thing I genuinely hate about Melbourne. How on earth have you people managed to get to the year 2011 (nearly 12) and still have hundreds of level crossings?
    I think when the plane landed, bringing me to Melbourne, the pilot announced – “welcome to Melbourne, it’s raining and 6 degrees, please set your watches back 30 years”.

  22. AFL isn’t footy, it isn’t even a sport, it’s just shit

  23. Considering how cold it is the houses have little insulation and rarely have adequate heating, you will need jumoers aplenty even in summer. Deluded and Inappropriate building codes for such a temperate climate.

  24. On a recent trip to Melbourne one of the things that sticks in my mind is sitting at a tram stop at the Vic markets with my two young children watching a man that certainly appeared to be, shall we say “socially and financially disadvantaged” and clearly very drunk, laying on the opposite tram stop bench, vomiting periodically onto the ground.

  25. DriveByHeckler

    AFL in Melbourne certainly is a freakish mix of sport and religion but worse. Enrolling unborn children into AFL club memberships is embryonic indoctrination and far beyond the antics of any evil religion. AFL is a Southern State cult and like all groups of insular like minded wierdos, to be avoided at all costs.

  26. Redeker Plan

    I’m a Melbourne girl, and I’ve had it up to the back teeth with footy and all the shite that goes along with it. It’s not actually the game itself, which on one level I can admire as a brilliant display of athleticism and fitness. It’s the fact that There.Is.No.Escape. Pages and pages in the newspaper. News bulletins start with the main footy news of the day and then briefly move on to war, plague, famine, politics for 10 minutes and then Look! The sports segment! More footy! Gossip about who pissed on the dancefloor of which nightclub last weekend! Whose tangerine girlfriend is that and who is she wearing? Gag me with a spoon.

    Still if you think we women have it hard to admit they’re not into footy, pity the poor bloke who hates it. I was lucky enough to find a bloke who’s not into footy (or any other spectator sport). He works in a blue-collar industry and pretty much gets treated like a freak – once the other blokes find out he’s not into it they literally cannot think of anything else to talk about, so awkward silence reigns until another bloke walks in and the conversation starts from scratch. He tried for a while to feign interest but reading about it so he knew what to say did his head in. (from thePunch.com.au)

  27. USA USA USA

    A good general discussion on Sydney and other places is at http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/lifestyle/life/shrimp-on-the-barbie-more-like-the-raw-prawn-for-unsocial-australians-20111025-1mi97.html?comments=203#comments
    Very honest comments popping the ‘Friendly Australia’ Myth

  28. Melbourne is the try-hard crap-hole of Ausralia. It’s full of pretentious arty-farty wannabes and second-rate back-of-house operatives because pay-roll tax is cheaper down there. Melbourne has nothing going for it except a few events that they steal from other cities

  29. Iescapedyoucantoo

    Melbourne was developed in the 19thC on the discovery of gold. This has given the city an historic undercurrent of parvenu snobbery. It persists to this day. Then it became, for about 100 years and until recently, a proud red-banner waving hometown of the labour movement. That gave it a kind of working-class reverse snobbery. Then there were the competing factions of protestantism and catholicism. When I was a child in Melb a billion years ago, a “mixed marriage” was a small, gossipy social scandal of a Catholic marrying a Protestant. Life in Melb was enormously parochial along above mentioned lines, until Sunday trading was introduced in the 1980’s. Then slowly, slowly, the need to go shopping replaced the obligation to attend religious services. Now it is not a case of “get in the car, we’ll be late for church”, but “get in the car, there are cheap SD cards/tennis racquets/xylophones at ALDI”. Once upon a time there was a Premier called Dick Hamer who was a Liberal but advocated and achieved many kinds of solid social improvement: no fault divorce, decriminalisation of homosexuality and abortion and the establishment of the Arts Centre and College of the Arts. Ironically he was also the premier who relaxed the Sunday trading laws. His vision for a ‘cultural capital’ has been surpassed by the need for Victorians to buy cheap garden gnomes at discount retailers. The really big disappointment has been his plan for green wedges and city limits being ignored by subsequent state govts of both colours as they pocket the revenue of stamp duty and cave in to the insidious power of the construction industry unions. This is why the city is SO unmanageably large and the public transport, therefore, utter rubbish. Cars are a big money-spinner for Spring St and PT is a hopeless write off. The message is quite clear: buy a car or go live elsewhere. This is also why the once beautiful country roads and rolling hills of Lysterfield and Rowville are now pimpled and pock-scarred with McMansions. The sheer misery of seeing a once beautiful hinterland bulldozed for poorly thought out housing, by a new world government with a mandate for progress is one of the reasons, amongst others as mentioned earlier, why I will never live there again.

  30. Are you serious? Making an about how much you hate melbourne? How about you make a blog about some real issues in this world like poverty or global warming, rather than writing about how slow a tram is or how much ‘footy talk’ there is.

    • Melbourne is the best place in the world, lived here my whole life and will continue to. I love AFL, Sport, Multiculturalism, cafes, restaurants, bars and the lifestyle. I also like cool changes on a hot day and the change of season.
      If you havent found anything good you are clearly looking in the wrong places. Every city has its ups and downs, for the fastest growing city in Australia, set to become the largest in Australia within the next 25 years, Something must be quite appealing about it.

    • Because Melbourne is a ‘real’ problem.

  31. Melbourne is a smug country town that wishes to reduce everything to its own mediocre dimensions. It hates Sydney because it’s everything Melbourne isn’t exotic colourful good weather good beaches people with a sense of humour . It hates Adelaide because it can and looks out to the world i.e. Tasmania and Antarctica because that’s all it can cope with. It is obsessed with what school you went to so it can pigeon hole people rather than what people can be and hides in the black shroud loved by serious people because it hides ugly bodies. Melbourne will never be no 1 city in Australia it will always be No. 1 cringe Capitol.

  32. Love your depiction of this hideous city! Well done.

  33. Melbourne is ok, I’ve lived there for years – but I agree with pretty much everything that people have said about it in previous entries. Melbourne is “nice” but a little dull, there are laws about everything and people all seem to dress and think the same. The one thing that I really hate about Melbourne is AFL. It is so damn dull and people seem to think that it is totally okay to rave on about if for hours wherever you go. This isn’t restricted to boring ignorant people, it is really widespread. If Melbourne wanted to have a useful law then it should have legislate against talking about AFL for more than one minute a day. That would make it a far better place to live and would encourage its thoroughly decent citizens to think about all the other things that this world has to offer. Well, at least it would make it easier for me to live here.

    Now, if you want to talk about a real shit hole, has anybody ever been to Geelong?

  34. I’m so relieved to find this thread! It’s so depressing here, I’d get the hell out but I’m stuck here for the rest of the year then I’m getting as far away from this city as I can possibly get. Melbournians couldn’t recognise a good thing if it whacked them over their stuck up heads. Most of them have never really travelled, Grampians or Dandenong National Park not included. This I believe might bring these people back to earth. They have a huge chip on their shoulder, nose held up high! I have to deal with these insecure ankle biting, racially discriminative, back stabbing people everyday. No hospitality, absolute tight arses. Can’t stand the place. Be warned don’t think of living here unless you have to.

  35. I struggled with the constant snobbery and need to pigeon-hole people. The concentration of asset ownership amongst the privileged “families” means that every opportunist spends their life sucking up to these moneyed interests. A truly repressive culture reminiscent of something from the mid 20th century.

    Melburnians seem to long for the past and are very unwelcoming of those from other places. Their interests in the most banal details of each others lives just doesnt make sense to me.

    A real shit hole of a place populated by some small minded people.

    • I grew up in Melbourne in the 60s. I’ve lived and worked in it for decades. I’ve lived out of it for over a decade, and now also live part of my life in Europe. The city has changed immeasurably. It was always paraochial, as was much of Australia (Inc Sydney!). What was pleasant has long since been ripped down. As a city it could be anywhere now. It’s not particularly nice to live in. It has a shockingly snobbish set of families who inhabit such dreary institutions as the Melbourne club. They are parochial and small minded. The whole place is based on a trashy display of wealth which they try to pretend is understated. They wear gold signer rings with arms purchased in the 70’s from the college of Arms at huge expense in a vain attempt to to be “gentry”. Most are jumped upreal estate agents from the local expensive schools whose grandfather or great grandfather was a bit of a success at business. The city also has lots of even flashier nouveau riche who also, call themselves “establishment”. The spring carnival is a crass piss up marketed as Royal ascot with drunken “fillies” vomiting at every turn.

  36. This post pretty much describes the entire country, not just Melbourne. (But then all cities in Aust are exactly the same. Sydney is just a slightly bigger version of Melb, and Melb is just a slightly bigger version of Perth).

    The selling point of Australia is the countryside/nature stuff, not the cities. No city here can compare with the giants of New York, London, Hong Kong, etc.

    Also this Melbourne vs Sydney thing seems kinda silly…I mean, you’re both exactly the same. Sydney is slightly bigger and hotter, but that’s about it. Otherwise, this whole “competition” feels like some sort of country bumpkin thing (“MY dirt village is better than yours!”). Only people who are uncultured and have never been out of their state will engage in this sort of rivalry.

  37. You can some up Melbourne in a couple of words “OLD” “BORING” “PREHISTORIC” “DIRTY” “SHIT PLACE TO VISIT”

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  40. Roberto Georgio

    I have been to Melbourne on several occasions for business, and continue to be amazed about all the hype surrounding this sub standard City, I consider it, the end of the road, this is the last place you would want to visit. A dirty, muddy, Yarra river and during winter, the inner City streets, are freezing cold, dirty, windy, dusty, and most without Sunshine, due to the tall buildings and narrow streets.

  41. yeah bro

  42. Over this city

    Can someone please explain to me that no matter where you go in Melbourne – restaurants, shops, parties, taxis etc – the moment its population discovers you are from Sydney, they go out of their way to be rude about where you are from and begin telling you all the reasons why Sydney is so horrible / direct / unfriendly / insert whatever attack you want here.

    After years of putting up with this, I discovered the solution – I just respond ‘Newcastle’ when people ask where I am from. Sure, I was born there, but Sydney has been my home since I was 1. But saying Newcastle silences the Sydney-hating whenever anyone asks.

    By the way, poor Melbourne doesn’t just hate Sydney. They hate Brisbane too, as well as Adelaide and will happily tell you why Canberra is also horrible. Perth, consider yourself lucky you are so far away that they don’t have an opinion. What an angry city with a huge chip on their shoulder about everyone else Melbourne is.

  43. only if I have to

    I dislike MALbawn. Why?

    There’s that sense of ‘superiority of place’ that comes across from so many Melbournians.

    Funny how they seem to know so much about other cities in Australia (I’m from Adelaide). I f you ever mention you’re from Adelaide, you’d be better off saying you have Ebola or AIDS.

    Yet if you ask them if they’ve been there the answer is invariably, “No”. They have not. Or they visited their Aunt Mavis in Adelaide on a rainy day in the winter of 1987. These days I only visit Melbourne if I have to.

  44. Melbourne

    I came here years ago, to play music and what a mistake
    that was..
    The amount of ego maniacs here I have seen I was
    gob smacked, at open mikes, it made me want to vomit.

    Comparison states..
    I have been all around Australia and liked
    Darwin, Perth (rocked) Queensland up north, like Cairns is awesome!

    Adelaide is great if you like it more quiet and it’s safer.
    The amount of violence I ve seen here over the last few years is appalling.

    The night life..
    I have seen girls fighting like
    wild cats in Richmond inside a cab, where the inside of the door seal was
    ripped off and strewn on the pavement
    amongst high heels, broken makeup and
    other bits of clothing.

    I have seen mass brawls in the city in one night club, where there were numerous
    amount of police panel vans and security cars deployed in Melbourne one night
    few years ago..
    I had also seen mass
    brawls in St Kilda and also a friend of mine was put in hospital by a thug here..

    Beaches…
    What can I say here, St Kilda really, Melbourne has the most ugliest beaches, not
    just in Australia, but the whole planet unless you drive hours away and I wish someone
    would take a crowbar to those horrible, over priced bathing
    boxes pull em apart and have a huge bonfire on some beach on a cold winters
    night!!

    The city…
    The city is ugly going over the Westgate
    and traffic is always bottle necked on most roads.
    The city itself is ugly and cold, it reminds
    me of Gotham City with the buildings
    and apartments rising like a cancer.

    Infrastructure…
    Public transport is almost below average
    in performance for a large city..
    We all know about over crowding on trams, trains and buses, which is very similar to third world conditions, this is no exaggeration, these, are facts..
    So much money wasted in prettying up Southern Cross which could of been pumped
    into an already over strained system..

    Housing…

    The terrace houses are so ugly.
    I would like to drive a huge bull dozer
    like the one in “Avatar” and demolish
    the whole lot of them!!
    This feeble attempt at architecture
    of the most horrid kind is on par
    with this damn housing affordability crises!!

    Climate..
    Weather is weather the city can’t
    help that as sea water comes from the arctic
    in winter, and is largely responsible for why it gets so cold here..

    My experience here..
    From my detailed observation from living in Melbourne, it ain’t the most liveable cities by
    far, and what a load if old cobblers!!!
    I have a name for this place and its
    nickname is “psycho city”…
    Sorry, but this is a fact, as I have never
    seen so many angry people living in cohesion
    with one another, maybe it’s the city
    itself with all its corruption and multinational company cash cows, drug dealers, corrupt government services or an ever increasing narcissistic culture, most vile, feeding coal in the mouth of this big hungry beast we call, Melbourne…

  45. Just came back to Melbourne after a few years away, My biggest mistake ever… This city is a whole, Th AFL is king topic what the heck really what a joke of a sport, Grand Final weekend all over so quick,why can they not be like all the other sports who win the league wins the title… Melbourne sports capital of the world, what a joke, The Melbourne cup is nothing compared to Royal Ascot, as is Wimbledon, as is St Andrews golf, as is Monaco grand prix, likewise the 500CC GP in the UK all better events, so really what is Melbourne, but a stinking rotten crime riddled city… I can not wait till get on the Western Freeway and get the heck outta here, this place really isnt European at all, its just a mass of buildings, I was talking with loads of backpackers of late and they all say the same thing, Australia is Sydney, Melbourne is not a tourist or holiday spot…

  46. Fully agree – Melbourne suffers from being the bottom of Australia and so removed from the rest of Australia that locals are comparing the city to Echuka. I was always surprised how many proud Melbournians had not ventured over the Murray. Chocolate box Australia is Sydney Harbour (not the environs) and the Queensland coast.

  47. The worst thing about Melbourne is it’s insular, parochial and annoying inhabitants. The nastiness that comes out of this city directed at the rest of the country ( pretty much every city that isn’t Melbourne) is a real turn off. Sydney of course being the main target of the insecure petty snipes. Obviously Sydney is a world famous global city and Melbourne lives in its shadow.

  48. Just got back from Melbourne. Dirty, poor planning,dull, snooty and smug. They think they are the capital of this and that, just because it makes themselves feel better about living in such a shit hole.A pretty terrible place with dreadful weather and an enormous insecure chip on it’s shoulder.

  49. Born in Melbourne been here my whole life, i am miserable here, the people are rude pigs, full of impatient dangerous drivers, scumbags everywhere and ice addicts, not to mention the public transport is over crowded, the roads are full of potholes, and it is generally not a nice place to live, cant wait to get out of this shithole!!!!

  50. So happy I found this! Was starting to think I was alone in hating this cesspit!
    My main issue with Melbs is the people, one thing that truly shits me about this place is whenever you point out a legitimate flaw with the city, Melbournians immediately slap you with that “most liveable city” crap and get all defensive, isn’t it funny how the people who talk so much shit about other cities get upset when people criticise theirs.
    Plus the people here are soo narrow minded, I’ve stopped telling people that i want to move to interstate one day because all they can do is crap on about how they think everywhere else is below Melbourne, pompous twats.

    • Ha! So true! We don’t tell too many people we want to get out either. All they do is emotionally manipulate us into staying (although right now, we are unable to get out anyway. Fuck poverty 😒). They crap on about how (deludedly) fabulous it is here and that “it rains more in Brisbane” like it is some kind of warning not to leave the cult. That’s precisely the drawcard we need to get out!

  51. I don’t like Melbourne I’ve been living here most of my life and its boringness and cold here there are much prettier places in Australia to live in.. That’s just my opinion though many people would disagree

    • * boring

      I also find that overall everyone seems so grumpy but when I visit other states people are warm and friendly. I don’t find Melbourne city at all inspring, and I agree that if your not into afl then you can feel completely left out its like a religion here. I do think there are nice suburbs around bayside and Elwood. But honestly other then that it is a very dull place to be in

  52. I came to Melbourne in 2002. I got married and had kids and have pretty much hated this city since i got here. It would be harsh to say there is nothing to do in melb but, there is nothing GOOD to do. AFL is utter garbage run by corrupt retards, Weather sucks but i could go on about that all day……and as for the shit box that we have to live in for the absolute fortune we have to pay for this place. I dunno about NSW but you have to almost sell your soul to buy property here. Most people are pretentious snobs who would steal your arse and make you sh1t through your ribs. So, for the city that absolutely idolises its criminals, I’m outta here.

    • Totally agree. I moved to Melbourne to work for Target Australia (the retail store) based in Geelong and Melbourne. Target has to be Australia’s worst employer and definitely represents what i hate about Melbourne. Arrogance, cockiness and people that are just generally difficult. The fact the company is going down the toilet is no surprise. If it was run out of another state people would be happier, turnover would be far lower and the business might actually be turn itself around.

  53. Had to come to Melbourne today from The Grampians region to pick up seafood @ Abbotsford 8am then Mud crabs @ Tulla 6pm…
    Aaaarrrggghhhh!
    Remember now why I avoid this prison of filth complete with insane druggy wastoids, foul tempered snob shop girls & demon drivers.
    So grubby, smelly, convoluted, stacked in, no flow, limited go, all for show.
    Oh btw you man bun beard wearing softo, the way of the hipster is down, down, down.
    Adelaide is weird… but at least it has real people, not facsimiles of such. Other Aussie cities are just that.. cities.
    They who exist herein, all hope hath been surrendered by them.
    But Melbourne, it is some piece of work!
    It’s all of Dantes circles in one great, metastatic, huge, pulsating, ever growing lump emanating from the centre of the Ultraworld.
    YUK

  54. I’ve been in Melbourne for 2 years… and I’m going nuts!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it. It’s an ugly place that they’ve tried desperately to dress up. I love the markets, but, that’s about it. Unfortunately, they really aren’t worth living here for. I’ve lived in 4 different places since I’ve been here and I can’t do it anymore. I grew up in Sydney, and it does suck. But, at least the weather is good and it’s easy to find somewhere pretty to relax and unwind, or at least live!!!

    I’m so over living in Melbourne. It’s really not a nice place to live.

    I’m out of here when my lease is up. Ewww, I hate it. I’m glad it’s not just me. I felt like I might be mentally unwell, but, I think it’s actually that this place is massively awful. I can’t wait to move.

  55. I’m from Boston originally and Melbourne reminds me of everything bad in Boston. I’ve met some wonderful people here, but a lot of people are snobby and rude (I especially love the people who hit your shoulder as they walk by). I’m trans, and for what is supposedly the LGBT capital of Australia, I’ve gotten quite a few comments and stares (no not good ones). I actually got less comments in Brisbane and I’ve been told not to go there because the people are “homophobic.”
    The hostel I’m staying in also decided to charge me more money than some of my roommates paying for the same nights. What a city!
    The public transportation is better than in Boston. But that’s like saying the dump I took today is better than the dump I took last night. The trains are what get me. I saw a train start to take off with the door open and the customer service people literally stood there and laughed. Called to complain about it and they still haven’t gotten back to me, so that train is still running. OH also, why doesn’t every train do the city loop? That’s standard in every Australian city I’ve been to besides Melbourne.
    As an American, I feel that I should at least listen to the AFL (I prefer sports on radio because I’m weird) but good luck finding them. Triple M says they air them, but turning on Triple M gives me crappy generic classic rock.
    I’m sure there is more but really the snobbery and the city is obnoxious. I can’t wait to leave.

  56. Confused city

    Melbourne is the industrial manufacturing base of Australia. That’s all it is. Now they have tried to reinvent themselves with a few sporting stadiums and marketing vertical dog boxes in the sky to attract asians with a high growth policy with the downside that congestion abounds. The weather is depressing and unpredictable. If you are a sport fanatic and need to go to a event every weekend then this place my suit you. Aesthetically it is not a beautiful city and is bland with no energy. The buildings are all black and grey just like the weather which makes it not very colourful. On first sight it looks like Chicago with high skyscrapers along a river. On closer inspection there is nothing European about Melbourne contrary to some who believe it has culture, fashion, food etc. it has a view pockets of nice food places with variety but so have other cities and is not unique , but the culture and fashion is a bit of a joke. There is none. Those are try hard comments and not justified. In 10-20 years the city will be majorly overcrowded and the city will suffer as a result. It apparently get’s a number 1 living ranking, however the basics such as a train to the airport do not even exist. They are still using a bus. The airport looks old and derelict. Even Beijing has a prettier airport with high quality train transport to the city. Trains here are 3rd world cattle carriages used by humans. It is rather backwards. The insecurity of the city is reflected by the response to any negative criticism to a local. A confident city will be objective and agree to both good and bad points about their city. Most Melbournians are country bumpkins who mostly have not lived beyond the Victorian border.

    • Country bumpkins? Like fuck.
      We country bumpkins are most outraged by this ill advised comparison.
      Melbournites are just that.
      They don’t leave Melbourne.
      If they ever venture beyond, into the actual hinterlands of Victoria or further , they are forced to realise that the delusional ideas of their own importance and sophistication are very clearly that.
      Delusional.
      Melbourne is a hick town, overrun with fugees, who are conversely the most interesting part of it’s subbacultcha!

  57. Melbourne does a great job at Marketing itself to the world. It is placed on a pedestal as a result. Once people come to Melbourne to live and experience it over time the cracks may start to appear depending on what you came here for in the first place. Many Melbournians have a self inflated perception of their city and are very critical of every other Australian city. This means that they are off course very insecure, hence the heavy marketing required to raise the profile of the city itself. Melbourne you either love or hate it. There is no grey or in between emotion for this city. It all depends on your point of reference and where you come from. If weather or beaches are not your thing and you like a few high rises and willing to learn a funny sport called AFL then it may be place you may actually like. Outside Melbourne in Victoria there are plenty of attractive places to visit. Unless you live within walking distance to the CBD and amenities of this city, you may as well live somewhere else in Australia. The city is bland and industrial with bizarre weather patterns. You need to have a strong immune system to handle massive weather variations per day. There is no stability in weather due to location of this city which is rather unique. The weather could be an attraction by itself where I have not seen a city with similar weather. It is very expensive and overpriced and quality of construction is very poor in workmanship. I’ve lived in houses in Africa that are better quality were weather is similar.

  58. Melbourne is an interesting place to visit for a first time tourist. Beyond that, as soon as you get out of the inner city 3-4km radius of the CBD, and into the suburbs where the vast majority of the population lives, Melbourne is just a vast urban wasteland where not much happens.

    The people and their attitudes are the biggest turn off – the constant boasting and bragging about their shit hole of a city, desperately trying to get the rest of the world to give a shit about them, totally ignorant to the fact that there are far more interesting places in the world to be, only suggests a deeply held insecurity about the fact that they are, after all, Australia’s second big city after Sydney. Which is why they resort to ratting on smaller cities like Adelaide and Perth.

    Oh, and the number of hipster lumberjack beards in that place, I’m sure you could burn them and power Geelong for a year. Get over yourself Melbourne, no one but yourselves gives a shit about you.

  59. cringe capital of Australia.

  60. Interesting city and a mixed bag. If you have lived outside Victoria for some time the chances you will stay long term are slim, but not impossible. If you are born within the state of Victoria you will most likely end up in Melbourne and become brainwashed that this city is the best thing since sliced bread. You will become oblivious to anything outside the state and live in a Victorian bubble and be very critical of everything outside Melbourne as you be me more ignorant the longer you linger around this city.

  61. Denise O'Meara

    No Bill, not all Victorians are as you cruelly describe. I do hate this shit, dull, bleak, nanny/,police state, soulless, cold (even in so called summer), but do not appreciate your comments about the class of morons who live here. Some of us have to live in this hell hole, through no choice of our own

    • Life is choice Denise old stick.
      Get out of Melbourne before you dessicate in the sheer, vast vacuum of hideousness that the liveable city truly is.

  62. There’s something in the fucking water in that stinking shithole town. They all have their heads stuck so far up their racist xenophobic asses it’s god damn fucking unbelievable. Hipster fucking morons, coffee culture snobs, cashed-up snobbish ass clowns, footy meatheaded shitsacks, mafia owns and runs fucking everything… Fuck off!! The city and it’s inhabitants are fucking toxic. The only nice people are from elsewhere originally, maybe Somalia or Eritrea- lovely people, alas, exiled by the amazingly ignorant racist fuckheads that live there, seeing themselves as anything but ignorant racist fuckheads, thinking themselves the center of the fucking universe. Fucking disgusting! City seems nice on the surface at a quick glance but has the worst human beings of any city in Australia and that includes the cemetery known as Adelaide.
    Do not go there. Go literally anywhere else. Baghdad. Aleppo. Medellin.

  63. The worst thing about Melbourne is the people. Other than Kiwis I have never encountered such insecure people who have huge chips on their shoulders just because they live in a city which is overshadowed by Sydney on the world stage. It’s always Melbournians who’ll say how much better it is in Melbourne. Melbourne this, Melbourne that. Sydney has a magnificent harbour that adds to its charm. Melbourne has no natural beauty so tries too hard to emulate a European city.

    • Lived in this miserable dump of a city for years!
      If you move here from interstate be prepared to NEVER make it into the clucky groups of Melbourne. They stick with their friends from the same school, go to the same colleges, wear the same clothes, you live breath and have to listen to AFL all day every day, what’s funny no one outside of Melbourne gives a shit. After a few months here you will start to live in the Melbourne “bubble” you will soon hate on every other city in Australia, in fact the world. You will re live the same events, same crap weather, same “institution” bars/restaurants. The crime is out of control, rapists, gangs, everywhere you look there is crap graffiti and a typical Melbournian will call it “street art”… Good luck renting or even buying a decent home there, a total dump located inner city will sell for $1m. People always look dark and not happy, the other true Melbourne people are old and pretentious, most people suffer from depression, or have severe drug and alcohol problems. The worst city for road rage, everyone is a maniac in their cars! I never rated the food there or their so called “coffee culture”. I have had better coffee in Brisbane and Perth! All of their cafes look the same, always older style bars and toilets and what an entry to the city, flying over a dark miserable farm into an airport that is a total shit hole.

  64. Left Melbourne in 1997 and relocated to the UK. Have visited three times the last time in 2010 not a pleasant city to live in now.

  65. Been in Melbourne for 5 months now… what a friggin shithole, overrun with boat people/refugees. Crazy ass drivers. Very hard to spot an actual True Blue Aussie down here. Came here for work reasons from Queensland, definately made a big mistake, word to the wise, if you’re coming from Queensland and thinking of a change don’t come here, unless you’re an art snob, career criminal or gay. This place must be taking over the gayest place in Australia title. If your a gay, criminal from Iraq and love art you’d do pretty well here, you could probably even run for Mayor of this cesspit.

  66. Just moved back to Sydney after being in this dump since Feb. Jesus it sucks. Boring and ugly as fuck, full of shitty pretentious hipsters who have nothing better to do with their time than sit a cafe talking philosophy or some wankery, while drinking their skinny soy chai single origin fuckin coffee and tying up their man-bun. Oh, the crappy freezing weather and wind so dry it sucks the life out of you. Everyone says it’s the “fashion capital of Australia” – WTF??!! Yeah, if you want to look like a walking, angry-looking corpse. They all wear head to toe black. Sooooo original. Parking inspectors are maniacs, no one can drive and everyone is smug and up-themselves, “oh, we went to the aaaart gallery and the theatrrrreeee”. Ugh. Best view of this dump is on the horizon getting the hell out.

  67. If you live in Melbourne and enjoy the great outdoors, there is simply nowhere to go. It’s a city purely for city people who think fun on a Sunday is a cup of coffee in a dingy street.

  68. Inward looking city requiring a heavy marketing budget to prop themselves up and create an illusion. On the surface it all looks great. Stay a while and look beneath the surface and you see something else. Once you reach this point, run for the hills as fast as you can!!!!

    • I agree, plus I hate the greyness ☹️ Can’t wait to leave I have one more year then I’m out

    • Agree, Melbourne excessively markets itself and it’s events. Horse race season is starting and there will be the regular build up to the overstated “Race that stops the nation”. However, it really only stops Victoria, particularly Melbourne public servants who get the day off, bogans in rented suits and race horse owners. Hardly a complete demographic of the nation.

  69. on wrong track

    Melbourne is a city of greedy top heavy developers who market the city to sell an illusion of high growth and pushes above it’s weight. Only maybe 1%-5% of the population takes part in this greedy behaviour to speculate. Outsiders are attracted initially and make the move and then become disillusioned, when the basics in services and human living deteriorate as the growth is not matched by adequate planning of services. The local government loves the tax payer slaves to pay he high cost of living in the form of taxes. Once greeds set into human behaviour complacency, recklessness, hubris and negligence takes over and this is the point at which it will end badly. The horse has already bolted. The city has some serious challenges and headwinds ahead. The law of cause and effect applies and nature will eventually cleanse the rot and we will have to learn the hard way.

  70. I’m a Canadian living in Melbourne (unfortunately) and I can assure you that compared to Canadian cities Melbourne is indeed a dirty, dreary, drab, run down, brown dump of a city. The suburbs are especially nasty- nothing at all like the green, leafy, manicured suburbs you generally find in Canada. Just a sea of drab, shitty brown brick homes and yards. The amount of anti social behavior is beyond belief- the graffiti, the littering, the vandalism, the drunken violence is far beyond anything seen in any Canadian city. The weather is absolutely horrible; public transport is third world; traffic is beyond a nightmare. the health care system is awful, and everything is sooooo expensive. A truly awful place.

  71. Not from Sydney, northern nsw, stunned by the Sydney and Adelaide hatng, but worse is the road behaviour, an ignoramus was blasting his horn at a new migrant and screaming obscenities out his window, so I went over, said calm down mate, it’s 3 seconds you’ve lost, I got the rest of his tyraid. Smiled and tried to engage with numerous people, came to the conclusion that every single comment above about melbawn is spot on, what an embarrassment this place is. Melbawn attitude does exist and the superiority attitude has me bafflee, it’s a shithole, for me Brisbane eats it up and spits it out. It doesn’t even rate with Sydney except as a migrant dumping ground and traffic capital. The reality and the illusion are miles apart.

    • Yep, got the tail end of abuse today myself from a druggie who’d spent his pension ( Melbourne has to be the capital of under 30’s on a pension. Pre requisite: being a lazy drunk or druggie) after I stood up for an older man he was raging at to give him money. Melbourne is bum/druggie central and panders to these low lives. Avoid at all costs.

      • I wouldn’t be so judgmental about people on pensions. Some of us have been trapped in the Melbourne abyss, through no fault of our own and with no key to escape.

  72. LOL, I live in Melbourne and have for 40 years. It was a nice city to live in…now, forget it. Its a boring and dangerous city. Constant reports of Home invasions by gangs gone wild with no fear of police or the law. Car jackings, a countless number of stabbings, gun realted violence is on the increase. Retails is crap now. All the great shopping strips are now just full of try hard cafes, too many fucking reasturants…and most are just passable. We have been overrun by international chain stores and there are shitty looking apartment blocks popping up as far as the eye can see. I am making plans to leave after living here all my life. People here are relatively friendly but fuck they are all sheep. Dont bother coming to Melbourne….it’s totally shit now

    • Melbinnnnnnn

      I live in Melbourne too and agree it’s total and utter shit.. There’s not much too add… other than agree with above posters – has got to be the most boring, overrated place

  73. I’ve lived in Melbourne for 40+ years. It’s a mean grey city full of mean-spirited self-important tossers. It must be the effects of the weather, which really is as bad as everyone says it is. As soon as I’m able to retire, I’m off to FNQ where I escape annually for a spell to get away from this place.

  74. I moved to Melbourne aka Gotham City earlier this year from Sydney, and this page and its comments are totally bang-on. If the endless winter and wacky weather doesn’t send you into a depression, the lousy transport (poor value-for-money with aggressive tram overpolicing) and people (cold and flaky at best) will drive you into outright aggression. I’ll be able to leave in three months, and am making a beeline straight back to Sydney. Sydney’s far from perfect, but at least it has better transport coverage (including an airport train, something Melbourne isn’t even close to building), a more-sensible ticketing system, and beautiful natural features. All the things that people say are “great” about Melbourne – food, art, culture – are man-made….and what man creates, man can re-create….

    One other observation – on this site’s Sydney page, there are only 3 comments from 2016. The Melbourne page has 30+ comments!! Let that one sink in, Melbourne cheerleaders….

  75. I really love this page, it totally sums up Melbourne in every possible way!

    Thank god we don’t have to live in this dump of a city anymore OMG what a miserable and stressful place to live. It bored the crap out of us, went to the same bars, same restaurants or they call them “Melbourne Institutions”, hearing Melbournians whinge and complain all day long about everything possible. I always wondered too, why do they brag about their dull and pathetic city oh it because they have to justify why they live there….

    Now we have moved away we now have to deal with them coming up to BNE. All they do is go on about how hot it is or we might have an occasional cloudy day and they complain because it is not perfect weather. Oh gee sorry about that Melbourne, it actually baffles me because they endure a year of cold and shit weather! So back to what I have to listen to whilst they are, every minute is constantly comparing MEL to BNE and to all of the other cities “Melbourne this Melbourne that” why don’t you just shut up and embrace other cities!!! They complain about how we don’t have this and “we don’t have and we don’t have that” it is bloody exhausting it has made me hate Melbourne even more because of these people and I now I look at them and think who do you think you are! I feel like telling them to piss off and go back if you think that BNE and SYD are that bad! It is like listening to a broken record, I also love it when they come to BNE or the Gold Coast they always have to have their noses in the air and sound like pretentious snobs and tell everyone that they are from Melbourne um who friggen cares!!!!

    Thank god we live up here now and don’t have to deal with that chaotic and depressing weather, horrendous traffic, AFL AFL AFL AFL AFL AFL AFL talk no one cares, constant crime, graffiti and gangs. Adios and all the best Melbourne and to those who live in its pathetic and boring bubble! We feel so much more connected to Sydney, Australia in fact the entire world again thank god we are out.
    We love BNE you are a beautiful and friendly city and keep doing what you are doing!

  76. Denise O'Meara

    Oh what a superb write up Allana! Couldn’t agree more with your comments. Have you got room for 1 more Melbourneite who loathes and detests EVERYTHING about Melbourne. if I HAD MY TIME AGAIN, I WOULD never LIVE IN SUCH A SHITFUL, MORONIC SMALL 3RD CLASS TOWN CALLED MELBOURNE

    • Thanks Denise, of course and I so hear what you are saying. It’s a shame as I never hear people from Perth or Sydney go on about how amazing they are or hate on every other city. They even compare their dark and dingy bars to what NYC and Europe has and I am like wtf! No way and never compare your city to these amazing international cities. It cracks me up to that they think they made places like Perth and Surfers Paradise like they influence these and mould these places lol! It’s only when I see them out of their Melbourne bubble, I think what a bunch of narrow minded morons. It’s a shame as it is so toxic and now that we are out we feel like we are finally living and a much better life. It might have been a good city back in the day but it has turned into hell. I hope you can move on one day too, life’s too short 😊

  77. Two months into spring and it still feels like winter, windy wet & miserable. Only people who grew up in Melbourne think the weather here is tolerable.

    • Vanishing man

      Or people who migrated from some insane hell-hole. Anything is better I guess.

      To be fair Melbourne is “liveable”. It has reasonable population size and is a modern functional city so there are jobs. Thus far it is reasonably affordable if you shop around.

      The trouble is it has many very annoying features. The most liveable??? No, sorry. Get real.

      The weather is just incredibly annoying, way too much of the time. AFL obsession is just incredibly tedious and everywhere, unless you are a brainwashed from birth true beleiver. The abundant cliquey weirdos, the pretentious plastic twits, the abundant scum bags and the criminals just grind down your faith in humanity. A lot of the city is an ugly eye sore.

      The winter is mostly a chilly solid grey downer that intensifies the grubby look of the place.

      There are too many drug-fucked ferals. Sooner or later one will cross your path and leave an indelibly shitty or scary memory.

      It is common to see faeces left on toilet seats in workplaces and public toilets. WtF??? People openly pick their noses and sneeze over everyone on public transport.

      The public transport is quite ubiquitous and I find it is quite easy to get around a lot or the city and metro surrounds. However, it has many annoying glitches. Train and tram drivers mumble incoherent announcements leaving everyone bewildered. The LED signs on trains or at train stations are too often totally misleading or just surreally F’d up. I feel sorry for visitors to the place.

      • Yeah agree. I’m pissed off but relieved to actually catch my plane after catching a train to flinders st in good faith that the fucking led sign was correct I.e express to flinders st from Moorabbin (moronabin) but to my horror it stopped at all stations. Do people who work in infrastructure in that shit hole actually give a fuck or are they so drug fucked that they don’t function at work. It’s such an annoying place.
        You often see people on TV in a remote part of the world being interviewed answering the interviewers question about where they are from with a proud ‘Melbourne’ in response – as if it is some internationally famous location like New York or Paris…vulgar .. or as if Melbourne is somehow above the station of Australia – why not just say Australia. Overseas people don’t give a fuck where you live in Oz. Shouldn’t identifying as simply Australian be enough because people admire you for simply being a citizen of this great country – excluding Victoria of course.
        I reckon melbourne should be bulldozed and all melbournians sent to Tasmania for rehab.

  78. Absolutely Melbourne which the most seriously-arrogant city in the world.Too serious.
    Serious Melbourians love Kmart and that’s probably all they know and living about.

    • Yeah if say it is the most liveable. Drugs are everywhere you can’t say it’s solely a Melbourne problem.. Melbourne is a great city!

      • Other cities you can get away from the druggies, in Melbourne they’re freaking EVERYWHERE!

  79. Number 1 if you have lived in a city hell hole previously. You just don’t know any better. Ignorance is bliss.

  80. Don’t bother with Swan Street Richmond(or Cremorne as the yuppy snob exiles from Toorak & Malvern call it). No genuine food shops left, all over-rated expensive yuppy cafes, with common over-priced shit, that could be bought in the CBD for half their asking price.The Greek cake shop on Coppin St, is over priced, only aimed at yuppies now. Dimmeys also now gone, replaced by Coles (sic..) Bridge Rd full of empty shops & druggies. When Vlado the restaurant owner died..a part of Richmond died with him..give Richmond & the rest of the City of Yarra a miss, no longer funky or cool, just full of junkies & dull phoney, provinvcial yuppies. Only this old school milk bar on Rowena St(near the MCG) seems the only ‘real McCoy’ eating place left in Richmond.(& the City of Yarra)

  81. Samantha Jayne

    Melbourne is such a disappointment to Australia!

    If you are from Melbourne and have never left Melbourne to actually see what else this country has to offer i suggest you do !!

    You will be surprised on how much you’ve wasted years fighting through drunken dickheads outside clubs and bars feeling a threat by them , living amongst filthy streets that smell of shit!, putting up with 4 seasons a day(with a occasional flooding every couple of months even in the middle of (Summer) where the city fills up of water and all the surige from the drains rise to the surface such as human feases and other diseases fill up in and around Melbourne streets/ outside your front doorstep , beaches and pathways so pretty much if there is a flood in Melbourne put on a pair of gumboots to prevent yourself from getting seriously ILL walking in shit with soggy wet shoes Yuck”!!!! To find parking in a common shopping centre that’s supposed to be the best shopping centre in the whole of Melbourne Chadstone is a freaking night mere around Christmas time the whole of Melbourne go here and drive around for hours fighting of car space how pathetic! And to even go to a half decent beach in Melbourne on the couple of days it’s actually hot you have to travel 1 hour out of the Melbourne to even go to a beach that’s half decent because the beaches close by are like a surage lake full of rubbish and who knows what”! The traffic the streets the trams the trucks to drive in Melbourne is one big fucking mess, so confusing and always congested everyday!!

    So get yourself out of this trash can city #Melbin

  82. I’ve lived in this hole for 25 years and somehow I’ll survive this place if I don’t get shot by a Sudanese criminal gang member and move north when I retire in 10 years; not sure if I can last here that long, in fact, there is no way I could. The locals are appallingly rude with an attitude like no other. The older Melbournians are absolutely vile.

    • True particularly people from around Kew, Balwyn and those areas. Middle class, full of themselves, pretentious and badly attempting to mimic their out of site upper class role models, who of course they’ve never met nor will they. Just pathetic and sad really.

  83. Melbourne has seriously gone to shit. It was shit when I left here in 2012. I’ve seen better airports in the third world. They have poorly attempted to mimic Sydney’s T1, T2 etc wtf has T got to do with whether you fly virgin Jetstar Qantas or tiger. It’s a miserable 500m walk along the facade to find your airline. Pathetic. No info people within cooee.
    The filthy Yarra ‘river’ where people aspire to live near.
    Residential developments over look railway networks.
    Everywhere you go someone’s got their hand in your pocket.
    The government is corrupt.
    The list goes on.
    I’m just glad to get the fuck out of there now.

  84. have you ever noticed when a vic is out of their shithole state they have to throw in that “they’re from victoria” in any and all conversations?
    NO ONE GIVES A FUCK. EXCEPT YOU, DICKHEAD!

  85. Dr David PHD

    Melbourne is becoming more & more like Chicago every day, a very mean, nasty hell hole of a city. My brother Stephen promotes this “Polish Modern” crap that’s passed off as award winning architecture. Sure lots of places overseas(especially in today’s Europe) are becoming worse, but Melbourne was total provincial colonial crap to begin with!

  86. Where on earth do they get this ‘coffee culture capital of the world’ nonsense from? I haven’t seen any coffee bean farms while driving out Melbourne so far. Do they mean coffee importing capital? Because I’ve yet to visit any other city in the world that dosnt have coffee shops.

    Wearing all black, drinking coffee and eating $26 bowls of spaghetti in a lanway cafe while talking about foreign films dosn’t make you cultured, it makes you pretentious. I’m almost bowled over backwards when one of these self-important wankers tries to compare Melbourne to NYC, Paris, Italy, or any other historic city with a real culture. Maybe Melbournes problem is that they spent so much time trying to emulate other cultures that they forgot to develop one of their own.

    I once heard someone describe street art as ‘distinctly melbourne.’ Yes, congratulations, you are the only city in the world with 16 year olds and cans of spray paint. Is that why you painted over a Banksy? Because you love street art so much? Or do you prefer whatever so called ‘artist’ tagged the word AIDS on the train I took to work this morning.

    As an Irish immigrant I can’t leave out that their beloved immigration museum is the most offensive thing I have ever seen. Going through reading the timeline of all the people/entire countries they banned from Australia is sickening enough, but the fact that they are so proud of it they made an entire museum celebrating it is depraved. Although I shouldn’t be surprised seeing how much they hate anyone not from Melbourne.

    Their cult of AFL would be fine if they didn’t feign horror when you mention you don’t follow it. They don’t seem to realise no other country in the world watches it. I didn’t hear many mentions of it in Sydney or Perth either so it dosnt seem to have even made it over the Victorian border, Yet I had it shoved in my face everywhere I turned in Melbourne. They’ve even built their stadiums right next to the city centre so god forbid you have to drive somewhere after a game has finished, sat in traffic for hours forced to watch heards of them in their team scarves and beanies breathing in their own smugness.

    God forbid you ever mention to someone from Melbourne that you weren’t that impressed and burst their bubble that the whole world is admiring them and their lack of a single recognizable landmark.

  87. The thing is Melbourne has always been 10 years behind Sydney. First visited 30 years ago and the place was basically Greek. Now being 10 years behind the unlivable Sydney that is choking on avarice and driving economic refugees south is not such a bad thing. Sure who cares about coffee, the point is Melbournians still find time to relax and drink it. Melbourne was built on a concrete slab and Sydney was built on paradise but the project of paving it to put up a parking lot continues apace. Melbourne may be bleak but its relatively civilised by global standards and the most civilised Australian metropolis (which, yes, isn’t saying much).

  88. Mmm, I think it’s fair to say Melbourne, with its somewhat laughable tag as “world’s most liveable city” that good ole is more likely “world’s most overrated city”. I come across this the other day an FB, that puts things into perspective, and also a but of a laugh. https://www.facebook.com/Opposing-everything-because-Im-from-Melbourne-1571492209530380/

  89. Mmm, I think it’s fair to say Melbourne, with its somewhat laughable tag as “world’s most liveable city” that good ole Melbourne is more likely “world’s most overrated city”. I come across this the other day an FB, that puts things into perspective, and also a bit of a laugh. https://www.facebook.com/Opposing-everything-because-Im-from-Melbourne-1571492209530380/

  90. Melbourne is a great place to come to top yourself

  91. You’re all so sad. Get a life

  92. I’ve lived in Melbourne my whole life and I hate it, I don’t like AFL or the weather, I personally think that Melbourne is the worst city in the world, and I can’t believe anyone who is under the delusion that Melbourne is the most livable city. Even my fellow Melburnians I can’t stand.
    If I had the chance I’d leave and never return to this hell hole.

  93. The most liveable city for criminals and gangs. Highest crime stat increases in the country, looking at implementing a NYPD, however at the same token it is ranked as the most liveable city in the world. If that is not a joke I don’t know what is. The judges must have been from Melbourne or paid somebody else plenty of money for a “feel good” story to keep it all under wraps.

    • The arbitors are the mag the economist intelligence unit and as expected none of the committee actually live in Melbourne. A bunch of office workers in a committee voted Melbourne tops, now there’s something to be really proud of.

  94. I grew up in Sydney, and have lived in Melbourne for the last 15 years. There is one simple huge difference which no one seems to talk about. It is summed up in one word: NATURE ! If you are interested in Australian nature, Sydney has a “great outdoors”; Melbourne does not. Sydney is surrounded by beautiful national parks, right on its doorstep, offering superb bushwalking and wildlife-watching, especially the fantastic native flowers and birdlife. To reach any decent national park from Melbourne, you would need to drive at least 3 hours from the city centre. All this beautiful nature overflows into the Sydney suburbs, which are much lusher due to Sydney’s higher rainfall. Melbourne’s dry suburbs and parks offer mostly European trees and a few introduced birds.

    Sydney has 3 major estuarine systems (Pittwater, Sydney Harbour, Port Hacking) giving it a stunning scenic coastline, and offering fantastic fishing, snorkelling, scuba diving, and boating. Of course the real surf beaches add to the nature experience of Sydney. None of this can be found in Melbourne.

    So, after you have had your fill of the Melbourne restaurants & cafes, and all the totally man-made entertainment that Melbourne is so proud of like coffee, laneways and graffiti, where do you go on a sunny day for a little nature soul food? Where can you escape to in less than an hour where unspoilt natural beauty is free? Nowhere.

    If you are not interested in the outdoors, then maybe Melbourne has what you want in a city. I am interested in the outdoors, so I feel trapped and bored to death in Melbourne.

    • Stuff the outdoors, It’s all about sitting in a cafe, looking out the window at some graffiti on a wall and thinking how wonderfully ironic it is. Only in Melbourne can one be so pretentious.

  95. Get fucked Melbourne, it is a city full of cunts

    • Couldn’t agree more Damo, I moved here from Perth for work and I can’t wait to get out. Weather is horrible which is maybe why the people are so horrible. Everyone is so smug and treat me like an alien cause I wasn’t born here. Funny thing is they have nothing to be smug about. One more year and I am outta here!

      • Melbourne is the best city in the world that’s why it’s been voted most liveable city 7 years in a row. So if you don’t like it fuck off back to Perth you bogan.

      • The truth hurts Melinda, aw diddums

    • AssymetricQWarrior

      Damo’s on it!
      Back Street Bitch is Back!

  96. I agree Melinda I love Melbourne

  97. DriveByHeckler

    That’s the standard welcome a visitor will get from Melbourne.
    Most livable city voted by a panel from the economist, Melbourne is dream land for accountants, nuff said.

    • The most livable illusion, where all of your money is taxed leaving you with peanuts, in an environment where you see no improvement to infrastructure and a lack of entertainment for all of those taxes paid. Usually wasted on insignificant and trivial shit. Over it.

  98. Melbourne was once an incredible place to live but now it is a dirty, overpriced shit hole full of disgusting Chinese cunts and other fucking retard parasites from developing countries. The city has been ruined by rampant immigration and will never be the same.

    I can’t wait to get the fuck out.

    • you wont be missed with that attitude

    • It’s the natives that have turned Melbourne into the bum, druggie, entitled CAPITAL of Australia. Only decent place so far I’ve found is Carnegie thanks to the amazing hardworking and friendly Asian/Indian majority and absence of loser waster ‘locals’ harassing and abusing people for money.

      • I noticed this when I was unfortunate enough to live in that other hell hole Sydney The Asians/Indians I met were decent and softly spoken people. The rest… not so much.

  99. Went to Melbourne for the spring racing carnival expecting a classy, glamorous experience but the reality was far from that! The day (derby day) was an absolute disgrace, I have never seen so many messy, drunk lunatics in my life. Throughout the day I saw multiple woman falling over from being drunk, many fights between the men and far too many public urination displays. The group of men in front of me were using a champagne bottle to urinate in, GROSS! So much for a classy event, starting to think Melbourne is all talk… maybe the only way to enjoy the day is to be rich enough to get into the birdcage away from the animals in the public arena. Think I will head to the Sydney racing carnival next time or even the Gold Coast or even Brisbane races.

  100. I was told Melbourne was a classy and cultured European like city. I’ve even heard some bizarre claims by local Melbournians that their city is the “Venice of the South”. As a European immigrant to Australia, I can see very little resemblance to anything European.I would say Melbourne is more like a little London, full of try hard rednecks and country bumpkins trying to be something they are not. A big overrated disappointment.

  101. jAKHfkhskjh

    prefer sydney, at least its not trying to be something it isn’t

  102. at least Sydney is mature and independent enough and does really care what others think. Melbourne is the opposite and puts on a front that is fake trying to be something it is not.

  103. Melbourne has a high suicide rate. It is a depressing and highly corrosive place.
    The stats are kept remote. The Westgate bridge used to help desperate Victorians to “leave”. Barriers are now there.
    Melbourne calls tagging with a spray can “art”.
    The city has an abundance of crap “art”.
    Food is prepared by “artists” that are nothing more than gluten-free idiots that serve overpriced hipster cuisine. (Smashed avacado on (gf) toast?….$20) No! On a PLATE please!
    Don’t ever ask for a coffee with milk! NOT in a jar thank you…
    You must have what looks like a high school laboratory experiment.
    Paris end of Collins street…ffsake! Just endless hipster BS…I was in new York etc…
    What’s with the relentless alt country/Americana music?? Awful…

    You can get decent coffee just about anywhere in australia.

    Seasonal affective disorder has devastated many that have an existance here.
    It is literally a funnel that pulls in relentless spitting clouds over it.
    If you like natural environs you have to travel hours to leave the endless, shitty, grey speccled and expansive suburbs. Traffic pollution in the form of airborne particles are found in your home. Clean it and in 2 weeks its all back again.You will pay exorbitant tollway fees too. Be prepared for traffic snarls/road rage etc., melbournians don’t know what an indicator is for, or how traffic merges..
    Rudeness is what many Victorians think is an aspect of being “cultured”.
    The whole grid pattern layout of the city is NOT magnetic NORTH/SOUTH. This makes navigating the place difficult.
    The yarra river and creeks are full of stolen and dumped rubbish….shopping trolleys, bicycles.

    St kilda and Elwood is full of syringes. Bayside inhabitants are amongst the most horrible on the continent. Shit floats around these bayside ” beaches”.

    Crime is all over the place, shops and even larger retailers will try to rip you off. Don’t leave anything outside (including a car)

    To be fair most non-anglo people are good/OK there. Many white Victorians are horrible!
    Melbourne is an incredibly BORING city!!
    Its people are very conservative.
    Because its such a boring city, many Victorians get into retail therapy. Alienating shopping architecture experiments, such as chadstone, provide meaningless retail excursions for the masses.

    I think almost all of the negative accounts of melbun here are accurate.

    Adelaide craps all over the place.
    Sydney craps all over the place.

    Goodbye melbun. Piss off.

    • Melbisadump

      Can’t wait until I get to say goodbye to this rancid cesspit, it’s been 15 years TOO long here.

      • Melbourne is beautiful I’m sorry but this is a stupid article and the comments above are just pathetic, move to Sydney if your not happy lol

  104. A flat bland concrete jungle where trees have been removed with limited nature may be beautiful to some while a harbour, with nature and water/beaches is beautiful to others. It is all relative and just your own tastes/ opinions that matter. By no means is Sydney perfect but I prefer it to Melbourne.Sydney is an international outward looking city where most of the time can be spend outdoors with stable warmer weather throughout the year. Melbourne is a provincial inward looking city mainly spend indoors due to the erratic high/cold weather fluctuations.

  105. Looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland but tourists are surprised to find out that it hasn’t yet been part of a nuclear war. Locals say its great though as it has teams in sash uniforms kicking around a ball… and well, that’s about it. Membership of an AFL club seems to be compulsory and number around 30,000-50,000 per team! and there are about 10 of them in Melbourne. Is there really nothing else to do?

  106. It's really that bad

    Best thing about melbourne is the westgate bridge in your rear vision mirror heading north
    Its an absoulote shit hole over populated crime ridden dogs breakfast
    I hate the place and everything about it
    Oh yea and play spot the aussie good luck

  107. Cunt of a city built for cunts

  108. Relocated to Melbourne about a year ago from Nottingham (probably the UK’s worst chav/crime city). The winter in Melbourne actually felt more depressing than the UK, most likely because beer is way too expensive here and there are far too many people desperately trying (and desperately failing) to be cool hipsters. The locals here almost speak the same language (unless you telephone a call centre or visit Subway), but that’s where it ends. Apart from some very nice old buildings and very good fish and chips further south, sadly, Melbourne is a huge disappointment. World’s most liveable city? I don’t get it; it simply isn’t true. Even grotty old Nottingham tops Melbourne in terms of entertainment and likability.
    The few local Australians that I have met, and they seem very far and few between to be true, are generally OK, but seem to be under the strange illusion that everything in Melbourne is the BEST IN THE WORLD: coffee, water, food, beer, beaches, coffee, coffee, coffee etc etc….it’s NOT true.
    Sorry folks – I really wanted to fall in love with Melbourne 😦

    • Sorry to hear your disappointment with Melbourne but at least you have only wasted a couple of years. Melbourne is not actually part of Australia thinks it is just outside Paris or Milan but its more like Milton Keynes without the good weather. Head north to Queensland at least the weather won’t annoy you do much.

      • Why tf when you press read further does this stupid user unfriendly site take you to some irrelevant article ..I was so looking forward to reading the last of your post!
        Yeah Cheers

    • Now I have added a comment, it takes me to your post … for fucks sake.. I dare not assume it’s maintained by a malbawnian

  109. robert burgos

    I use to live in Melbourne but now reside in Perth. I remember Melbourne to be a really fun place with lots on offer. I have family over there and visit at least once a year. In all honesty the place has turned into a third world shit hole (thanks to left wing government dominating the place). Rubbish every where u go; mattresses dumped on verges etc. The place is full of third world people from India and all the various other shit-holes who have no understanding of what it is like to live in a decent environment. So sad that the Marxist fuck heads have succeeded in destroying the place and bringing it to its knees.

  110. Perth & Melbourne share one thing in common-both of their Packer owned Casinos suck and are totally rigged and extremely boring and the security(AKA bouncers) are total thugs!!!

  111. Criminals in Melbourne become celebrities and there is a real class divide the self proclaimed upper class act like oligarchs

    • My biggest issue with Melbourne is the ppl are very pretentious and totally up themselves, ignorant and vile. The amount of ppl I hate here isn’t funny, u can be really nice to them the u will be stabbed in back.. Rubbish ppl in this city.

  112. I moved here from Europe 16 years ago and need to stay medicated in order to not commit a suicide.

  113. A provincial inward and ignorant state with the worst weather in Australia that is inhabited by very insecure people who only follow a sport called footy like a fanatical cult. A city that is overrated with look a like USSR style concrete buildings where nature has been replaced by a series of concrete buildings.

    • Visiting friends in Melbinistan. Wow. The social fabric has changed big time. Two thirds of the people whilst I was out were from the sub continent. It explains the bad driving and the rubbish strewn along the road. If I want to live in India Id move there. Sadly the local anglos are even worse and so rude. Ive read the bulk of the comments here which are spot on and its the angryness of Melbinistan which is most notable in shops and on the road. Tail gating and cutting people off is a sport. I reply with. Whats afl. What a load of carry on that is. It explains why Melbinistan has the worst crime rates and African gangs. Other cities have Africans without the issues. Even Sydney is far safer. I cannot fathom the weather. Just a dull mediocre place at best and no longer real Australia.

      • Social ladder

        The neo social order, is a country town club, whereby it is all about your behaviour and how much money you have or if you are one of them. Perpetuated by the bogan-hippies who have taken Melbourne and it is all about achievement these days here. Full of people who are trying to climb the social ladder. Who do not understand those who think differently and have different ideas. Will even mock you. These dickheads have the nerve to say that if you call yourself alternative or bohemian then you are pretentious, but these people are utterly hypocritical. Microscopic minded, cynical, think they know everything and pompous gits from the countryside.

      • Social ladder

        It is part of these people’s for world control and domination. Who are Satanist bogan hippies. Worse than mediocre it is the longest running nanny state Melbourne. No thanks to the hipsters.

      • Social ladder

        It is a good place to do nothing to do with your life. Unless you are willing to completely comply. Melbourne is most probably an experimental base for the American CIA. Where Europeans restrict you from doing what you want with your life as they see themselves as being superior to you.

  114. I was born and raised in Melbourne, and the best thing this city has is an Airport to get out of it. The communist state government egged on by inner city greenies and controlled by the Union structure has provided a thriving dystopia for crime, gangs, socialist councils, and that clumsy rubbish that the local alcoholic bogan thinks is important, i.e. AFL.

    • Brilliant summary John, of this 3rd rate town. You have echoed my thoughts about this shithole, just as brilliantly.

    • IamTheEggman

      Having had the misfortune of being born and raised in this cunt of a city me and my mates only half jokingly refer to as Melbournistan,your analysis of this shithole should be a travel warning on TripAdvisor for the unwary visitor. Pretentious hipster wankers,latte sipping snobs and nanny state restrictions on everything short of Oxygen from Green dominated councils…perhaps Comrade Dan can convince his union stooges to build a wall around the city and offer one way tickets to Hobart?

  115. Born and raised outside Australia. Lived in Melbourne for 1.5 years and had to throw in the towel and leave. Could not connect with this city in anyway. People have an extremely high opinion of their own city and dislike every other city in Australia. In general they deserve to live in this city since many are small minded insecure footy die hards. In a nutshell they do have an attitude problem. The weather is dismal and cold. It is just one big concrete jungle with little green nature or any high quality beaches. The have a big pond called the port Phillip Bay and a dirty yard river. Other than that they brag about their coffee and try to emulate to be a European socialist model and on the surface all looks great until you see what lies beneath the bonnet. It is not pretty. The city is restless and lawless with crime running rampant. It is moving to be more similar to cities like Detroit since their manufacturing base is and has been evaporating over many years. The state of Victoria is much prettier and diverse.

  116. I fucking hate Melbourne weather for three quarters of the year. Would move North but my partner doesn’t want to leave friends and family behind. Fuck Melbourne weather. And fuck AFL. Fuck rugby, cricket, soccer, tennis and golf while you’re at it. Sports fans are neanderthals.

    • I’ve been visiting Melbourne on and off for past few months. I cannot agree more with the majority here. The city doesn’t have much to offer. It feels like the only things to do here are sitting in a coffee shop and drinking the same coffee that you could drink in other parts of the world or eating average tasting food.
      From european tourist perspesctive, the city just doesn’t have anything to offer for international visitors. Public transport is comparable with those in some eastern European countries or even worse. The airport is a joke as well. Not only is it not well connected with the city, but also it can’t handle the masses. Security check takes forever. Before my first visit I was very excited and expected a lot. But hey one should never expect too much otherwise the disappointment will be only bigger.

      • I forgot to add. People on drugs or drunk are everywhere. I also think Australian government should also seriously start looking for solutions how to help the homeless. I have visited many cities in different kinds of countries. Homeless are everywhere in Melbourne which is shocking. Where are the social services?

      • In Tokyo even the homeless people have jobs to go to. They create jobs for the sake of creating jobs because the governent actually cares about the common man. The public transport system is first class. The cost of living is cheaper. There are far fewer idiots driving cars because license course is extensive and strict. People in general are much more courteous and polite. I already hated my home city, Melbourne but after going abroad I think it’s even more of a toilet than I did before..

      • robert burgos

        I think Melbourne teaches us all a great lesson: that socialism doesn’t work. We should all be thankful to Melbourne in that regard.

      • The kind of mentality I would expect of your typical shit-for-brain Melbournian

  117. You mean the zombies on drugs, drugs are everywhere in Melbourne. Pro-corporation, pro-thoughtless, pro-yuppy, pro-unquestioning, formulaic boredom. But they insist on everything being as boring, and fucked-up as possible. Just like the zombies on drugs who do not care. Unconscious roving, that they can dominate and retain it like that. Just with a bit more infrastructure. Cold people who do not care in democracy. Think they know better than you, hence you have no rights or say.

    • You mean the zombies on drugs, drugs are everywhere in Melbourne. Pro-corporation, pro-thoughtless, pro-yuppy, pro-unquestioning, formulaic boredom. But they insist on everything being as boring, and fucked-up as possible. Just like the zombies on drugs who do not care. Unconscious roving, that they can dominate and retain it like that. Just with a bit more infrastructure. Cold people who do not care in democracy. Think they know better than you, hence you have no rights or say. Of how morally upright they think they are when they take your autonomy away as a citizen. As they know best and they know everything according to them. And apparently it is for your own good. Of why you have not been corrupted or cynicised as they have been in such a cesspool. In somewhere so Keynesianly classist.

  118. In Melbourne and losers. The unemployed and homeless are losers from the deal. People that are permanently such as myself are losers, they won’t give any chances to. We are subhuman, the guttertrash of Calcutta, who are more decent and honest than many of the people who ride high in the place, who are remarkably petty and self-righteous, superficial and catty, smug. For the petty feel no shame I wrote in a poem in the 90s.

  119. Then there are the middle-class girls goes to school with, that she views with condescension at times. From the outer metropolitan areas her school mates are from.

  120. The only reason Melbourne has not gone the way of Europe is the people are so complacent in Melbourne.

  121. Facts of Life in Melbourne

    And why would it change as there are people getting rich off the scheme of things in Melbourne such as the Borghesie, criminal kingpins, councils, bureaucrats and politicians.

  122. Facts of Life in Melbourne

    I forgot to add the a hole managers and corporates and the autocratic regime that runs the city. Despots incorporated no it’s not very exciting.

  123. Facts of Life in Melbourne

    Land of liberty, best city in the world. It depends what you define liberty, which is very capital defined in Melbourne and whether you are employed to begin with. You’re right to be permanently poor or unemployed with no chance of a future unless you are affluent. What they think is best for you. But they are bizarre people they think you will kill yourself with heroin. Because as a genuinely poor person in Melbourne whose decent you are a lower human-being. Amplified by its tryhard American nature of the place.

  124. Liberty lost

    Enforced conventionality and conformity. Reinforced by the country town rednecks who rule with an autocratic fist.

  125. Liberty lost

    They are trying to do something in Melbourne it is called stripping-away your liberty. And then trying to convince you had any right to it. And what a pipe-dream that would ever not be the case. There is always agenda’s in Melbourne and the people are so self-righteous that they are a pain and annoying. That only the most questioning people realise this and see-straight-through-it. But the people have so much to lose from admitting the truth and bending and getting rid of their agenda’s. Me and my friends realise there is no democracy and it is boring. You think it’s democratic in Melbourne if you were a redneck.

  126. Liberty that never was

    Some people are freer than others apparently in Melbourne.

    • Liberty that never was

      The scum of the earth criminals have things in public housing before our best friend in Melbourne. Office workers think it is democratic in Melbourne. Melbourne not for the poor or needy. What is your office workers idea of democracy when they gang-up together.

  127. Liberty that never was

    In hipsters paradise.

  128. Liberty that never was

    What in essence is extremely right-wing forced employment, Melbourne style capitalism and elitism, corporatism, an unquestionness.

  129. Liberty that never was

    There dumb and smart, therefore some are born smart others dumb. Particularly the people are rebellious and unconventional are the dumb. Whereby the conformists are the supreme of intellect who go along with the status quo in Melbourne.

  130. Liberty that never was

    Because the people who are complaining and criticising Melbourne. Must not be integrated in the place. Therefore you must be dumb. And you have not successful then you must not be integrated into Melbourne society. Which is apparently what you want to be in Melbourne. I have not seen any democracy in Melbourne I have not seen it. Then if you are bothered by their aggressive bullying amplified by the fact they are drugs. Then you must be emotionally unstable then you must be dumb. Which I believe is the bizzarre trip hence the abuse and bullying. By the pretentious boring elitists who are mostly are hippies.

  131. Liberty that never was

    Do not mention anti-establishment it is the biggest swear word. Or the so-called Christian hippies who work for the private. Will be out there with soap as you must be maladjusted and not integrated into their society and that has to be stopped. The correctional officers that they are.

  132. Liberty that never was

    Hippies the biggest control freaks of them all. What do you expect from people from suburbia.

  133. Liberty that never was

    What if you do not want your liberty and autonomy taken away. Well they will yank as they can to grab it. They ultimately want your soul and that they desire to steal.

  134. Liberty that never was

    The thought-police are always in force in Melbourne these days. Often with colourful hippy or bland yuppy attire.

  135. Liberty that never was

    The only way they can retain their power in Melbourne is through utter control of the place and being domineering. Henceforth the oppression of the poor and peddling of drugs. And being remarkably deliberate and choosing things rather than allowing things ever occur randomly or spontaneously. Rather than anyone to do things it is incredibly formulaic and controlled therefore.

  136. Liberty that never was

    There is no democracy in Melbourne, why because there are people in the place with money and power.

  137. Routinely the middle-class people and hippies who run the place patrol the institutions and streets who are the thought-police. Who judge things by your test scores and grades were to dictate what your career will be. Aiming to stamp out all individuality or any hopes or dreams you have. Who are extremely superficial to put you in your place. And have you obey.

  138. This ain't democracy: bird crumbs for the pigeons

    You hear about how supposedly democratic Melbourne is pushed by the economic intelligence unit. But the thing is it is a rumour. There is no democracy unless you are an office worker, criminal, wealthy or bland empty soulless clone, or maybe one of the shopkeeper. The poor they are lucky if they can obtain work, or have a future or career. Especially if they have been long term unemployed. The dick-heads who run the place are heartless, hard-nosed, cynical, nasty know it all types who are extremely superficial pricks. Only if they think you are winner the underdog goes no- where in Melbourne.

  139. This ain't democracy: bird crumbs for the pigeons

    But they repetitively remind you that Melbourne is not there for the poor. Especially the decent poor. If you are poor you have gruel and no-where to go in hipsters paradise. Based on how you seem so do not express emotions or show vulnerability or you will be punished savagely. Everyone is to preyed on whose seen as an easy target. The genuinely gentle fit into that category. Which by the way is not the hippies. Whose motto is the meek will inherit the earth. Which is why they are so domineering in Melbourne.

  140. This ain't democracy: bird crumbs for the pigeons

    By the neurotic control freaks who run this city. Their neuroticness only intensified by the fact on their drugs. They are so drugged they want everyone to be like them or else. Who magical solution to life is to be middle-class and are extraordinarily pushy about it. Neurosis of them so remarkable that they will bully about it. These rednecks that run the place are intolerant. And they just don’t understand why people would not want to be or are not the same as them and be middle-class. With the obvious power that it brings them. The power that they abuse. Why they children are put in positions and who think are sufficiently bright to each professions. It is most undemocratic but they do not care. Unfortunately they are hippies. They have an old-fashioned view of the poor which is Keynesianly. Who are most condescending to in every way.

  141. This ain't democracy: bird crumbs for the pigeons

    Whose biggest fear there being democracy in the city. Pro-americanism, and everything is forced down your throat vindictively. Because these people are neurotic control freaks. In a way of genuine democracy, humiliate, shout you down, war of attrition. Kind of what you would expect in a nation that was not democratic. Try erase opposing opinions, promote patriotism then they say they hate communism. Is capitalism the same as democracy?

  142. Of the thought-police correctional officers.

  143. Whereby debates such as who creates society and reality besides the people when they are members of authority in this is to profound for many in this city.

  144. Or what is life and death again too philosophical for them.

  145. I have had to put up with relentless bullying in a University in Melbourne. So has my nephew in high-school. The authority in Melbourne is useless. They are accusing my nephew of being the culprit I know them. The tremendously conceited people who run Melbourne there is no democracy in it. They won’t fix our best friends door in public housing.

  146. Worst thing about Melbourne is the people.

    AFL obsessed, sport obsessed, narrow minded, insecure country bumpkins.

    Its incredibly middle class. Full of smug, pompous, pretentious, arrogant people. People here are lazy, jealous and insecure.

    • Will be happy to be home

      The worst thing about Melbourne is the elitist dickheads who are trying to climb the social ladder who are doing it deliberately.

      • Will be happy to be home

        Melbourne is full of from what I can gather from friends, what I have read from Julian Assange about their programming course. American CIA agents, rich people who have murdered people and got away with it because of the plutocratic nature of the place. Rich people. Government officials from foreign countries from what I have seen on the news. Criminals many Maffia of various nationalities, working class people who are a holes, middle-class people who are scumbags. Rich people who pretend to be not rich. All of it makes Melbourne not very democratic. Moving to Melbourne was one of but probably the worst thing to happen to me as a teen-ager. Am glad to be out, apparently some advantage to living in Melbourne, as if you are more likely to succeed here, and you are more intelligent by default of living in Melbourne even if the evidence is to contrary. Melbourne is a third-world country whereby the people do not rights and opportunities afforded to everyone except for the rich that you would have anywhere else. Anything you say and do will be used against in the court of plutocratic dinosaur bureaucracy and injustice that is Melbourne. Run by the plutocratic zombies new age hippie assholes of Melbourne who have become authoritarian yuppies who run the place who do not really care about or know what real democracy is and probably never will. Glad I do not live here anymore. Punk is hating the poor, rape is common and outright abuse in Melbourne is widespread on a variety of levels. I so much want my licence to live they won’t give it up and here I sit on the world’s edge trying to break in. But the sight of it all makes me sad and ill. Some wierd sin that’s what I get sitting out on the edge. Words of Iggy pop, I am sure Iggy pop was referring to the hippie establishment at the time, who are extremely abusive, pompous, just won’t let you, and are controlling which is funny as that is what Melbourne is like. Can you do the dog. Wishing someone would give me some energy. Again I think Patty Smith is talking about the incredibly abusive hippie establishment at the time. They can’t hurt you now. Melbourne is the pretentious hippie asshole capital of Australia these days.

    • The worst thing about Melbourne is everything!

      The worse thing about Melbourne is more than just the incredibly controlling, insular, judgemental, tiny-minded, vindictive people. The worst thing about Melbourne is everything. Read the comment below.

  147. Why does everyone (esp “Melburnians”) get so personally offended if you say you don’t like the place? Like they personally and single handedly built the fucking joint? For fuck’s sake. “Oooh you don’t like Mellbbouurnne, I mean, it’s aaaamaazziing, how could you not like it.”

    No it’s not, it’s a shithole full of pretentious cunts at the arse end of the world. Glad I don’t live there anymore.

    • Wishing I was not here right here

      Melbourne is incredibly supercilious and pretentious. It is full of people who are either rich have wealthy friends or family to look after them. Or they well connected gen y brats who have their parents or their friends or people in authority to help them. Leaving those who do not have such advantages at a disadvantage. You are expected to do things as quickly as possible, in life here. The bastards here are as condescending as can be. They want to make the next gen which own and run things. It is called inheritance and expectations of the people in Melbourne. Most of them are pretentious a holes who want to push you aside or out of the place so you can not get anywhere in it. Hence their comments are remember them. Melbourne is a deliberate plot by a bunch nasty think they know everything. It is a power game here by a bunch of people who want to obliterate you, render you irrelevant according to what they think of you. It is a bunch of status obsessed mega pretentious people who are way too controlling who are utter fakes to try and render you invisible and a nobody as they have a big tall poppy syndrome. Truly Melbourne Melbourne I think was always funny clicky place but I personally its reputation for being classy means Melbourne attracts many fake/hypocritical/pompous people due to this. The people who sell the local service station who owned it to begin with, only use foreigners as cheap labour would not give others a fair go and if they ever did there was so much pretentious non-sense because the people here think they are smart-asses. This is an extremely undemocratic pretentious status obsessed hole full of people who want to reduce people like me into being the underdog and their status-obsessed into being king with the only way they know how which is with either prejudice money or both. Which is why they are so dog eat dog. They are about as arrogant and insincere and abusive as they come. They are foolhardy they are cocky they talk with a silver tongue and they are extremely undemocratic. Plutocracy is democracy in Melbourne Australia thanks to the new age hippies turned yuppie. This society is a game a well organised game whereby all the people who know each other gang up with each other and gossip decide others fate. Nothing here but inferior exhibition spaces to the rest of the country, a port, an outdated sporting field, stadium, shabby hospital system. Organisations run by so-called Christians who are about getting rid of people like me and giving other young people leadership roles. us versus you thing is Melbourne.

      • Wishing I was not here right now

        Brain-dead pompous cold-blooded, cold-hearted moron capital who are utterly selfish and irresponsible and think it is smart to be like that, immature, egocentric, cruel and they think that is smart thanks to the superficial morons new age hippies turned yuppies.

      • Will be happy to be home

        Normality is non-existent in Melbourne thanks to the superficial people who are heartless and foolhardy morons. Shallow unquestioning morons who are all about working and making money.

      • Will be happy to be home

        Normality is non-existent but you have to look below the surface sometimes. From the nasty wierdoes with us versus you who want to be king of the world typical hippie style or dictator depending on what you want to call it. Its bohemian but it is not pretentious to be obsessed with money power and status obsession and immaturity and overbearingness is not pretentious somehow.

      • Will be happy to be home

        Whose idea of sophistication and culture is speaking with a silver tongue, being cold-blooded and cold-hearted and nasty and condescending but well-behaved, heartless. Or immature, bullying, overbearing with both of them being cruel dropping nasty or abusive comments. Rather they want to see you on the ground. Some of the other people I am unimpressed by and have different combinations of the aforementioned traits such immaturity and good behaviour. Free city it is not.

      • Will be happy to be home

        When the fucked-up illogical pompous aire-faire cynical rich brat morons who are complete pretentious scumbags and control-freaks pretending to be otherwise scrawl on walls shit like dream destroyer around the commission flats. It reminds me of how undemocratic Melbourne is. If you can turn your dreams into reality, it is because you either have money, to begin with, or they think you are great, either way you are always dealing with bias and other people’s decisions opinions biases of you. Control freaks, it is full of. For somebody as democratic, egalitarian, logical, reasonable, civilized, altruistic, with not one ounce of superficiality, this place is hell, intolerable and filth. Who thinks that people should be able to do what they want with their life, have choices regardless of their socioeconomic status this place is filth. What it represents is pretentious non-sense as a way to control people, prejudgment by the many ugly people in the place. Melbourne is not democracy unless you consider it a right to be permanently unemployment, picked on by the heartless and vindictive morons and to have no way out, by the pretentious people who want to keep you at the bottom of this society. You have to remember it was one of the forms of punishment for them to take away the Jews right to run business. That kind of economic control is normal in Melbourne for citizens here the most vulnerable who do not want to do what these pompous fuddy duddies want them to. The types of control extend beyond business and it’s often vulnerable people such as myself. Not that these pompous a holes would fathom what I have just said. Melbourne is a form of fascism based on good behaviour like something out of the nineteenth century. I lived here for years, I found Melbourne to be incredibly undemocratic and frustrating. As a person who wants to do the right thing. I was at disadvantage being on my own. I suffered much rejection especially if I should dare do anything independently. I guess it is because most people are either ex-bikies, ex-new age hippies, rich people and other people who are far more competitive than I am. What you would call an exercise in futility. I am a person of reason not a competitive, with very little superficiality, pretentiousness or arrogance who is also very caring and responsible. Not a very high opinion of my own work very little vanity underneath it. Very little interest in the social ladder social status look at me I am media star I think I am a god. Whose not the tiniest bit superficial or pompous or arrogant. That makes me an anomaly as far as most of the population of Melbourne is concerned these days. Are very down to earth and this place is a hole. Full of feckless egocenteic dickheads who have no compassion and think they are a god and are so pretentious they are actually defensive if you comment on their arrogance they disregard that as being irrelevant, and just about anything you say they dismiss. I can not wait to be back home. Arrogant hippie assholeville.

      • Will be happy to be home

        Generation X ‘they said we were stupid.’ the dead Kennedys chicken shit conformist like your parents what has ripped us apart even more than drugs are the thieves and the god damn liars. Its competition man we want to break big. So that we can compete again and again. Till all we have is a closed-minded self-centred social club. Then there is the stranglers ugly. Only the children of the fucking wealthy are going to be good looking. Awfully like Melbourne these days. I hold that the people in Melbourne these days are the reason the Punk movement happened to begin with. Joe Jackson people made me so bad. People made me feel like giving up trying. Melbourne full of abusive rich hippie criminal fucks these days that are tryhard vindictive pompous pricks.

      • Will be happy to be home

        I hold that these horrible people are a poor imitation of what Punk is? And I will be happy to be home.

      • Will be happy to be home

        How the world operates is out of the book of self-righteous, judgemental, new age hippie manual.

      • Will be happy to be home

        I am calling out an SOS. Melbourne.

      • Will be happy to be home

        I feel I have been cheated in this place. I want to be to be free and I want a fair go. And I left I realised you will never have that in Melbourne without pretentious non-sense.

      • Will be happy to be home

        For an extremely democratic fair person I hate Melbourne. Who is not very competitive, and does not have a huge amount of judgement says why are you not allowed to things that way and anything but controlling or authoritarian says why can not do things that way here. That is the way things are done xtc.

      • Will be happy to be home

        If I was more competitive than I was Melbourne would be a prospect for me. But it is in the too hard basket, when even though there is nothing wrong with me I can not get work or anything else in the place. The non-sense arguments that things being so hard in the place somehow make things superior in this place which is non-sense and all the other pompous rot in this place. It just means that somebody like myself who is able to do anything is denied a livelihood and an existence as they are as tight as can be here. Some of the best exhibitions I have seen are ones that would have been snubbed in the past. If you are extremely competitive Melbourne is the place to live. High grades in school and endless exhibitions then you will make it as an artist here. The more self-confident and positive you come across this place is a hole.

      • Will be happy to be home

        When they were a toddler they wrote their first book. By twelve they had graduated from University. I think this place is rediculous, rediculous with its expectations and I can not wait to be home. Melbourne the city for geniuses, talk about pretentious pricks. it to

  148. Chose to experience and live in Melbourne for over 1 year. It was an interesting experience. Not the friendliest state in Australia I found. The weather is chaotic. They have a very high view of their city Melbourne and a very dim view of every other Australian city. Unfortunately they appear a bit brainwashed and insecure to make such superficial comments.Everybody appears to be a clone of each other doing the same thing and having to have interest in footy and coffee. If you don’t fit into their box you will always be an outsider. On the surface they appear to be a tolerant outward looking state, however beneath the surface they are in fact not that tolerant or outward looking.

  149. It used to be a thing where you’d move to Melbourne for more job opportunities/excitement, but I wouldn’t now. Adelaide, Perth and some other places might be more boring, but it’s preferable to putting up with this stupid hellhole now.

  150. the “rust belt” of australia or a region known as the manufacturing heartland of the nation. Shares similarities with places like Michigan and starting to show first signs of the capital of Detroit in good old USA. The only difference is they don’t know it yet as they are 10-20 years behind in the business cycle. the manufacturing decline and increase in crime rate are a sure way to speed up the way to get there.

    • Not much longer till we go home

      Melbourne the city for gen y and old yuppies that is about it. Run by a pretentious plutocrats who decide who they like better and preference certain people over others. If you like unfair treatment, bullies, inequality, ridiculous expectations double-standards pretentious people than it is the city for you. Undemocratic, zero opportunities than it is your city, conventionality.

      • Not much longer till we go home

        Work I lived here for sixteen years I found it was impossibly difficult to get work but it did not apply to just work.

      • I found melbourne to be a stuffy ‘old boys club’. The terms ‘fake rich’, ‘cashed up bogan’ and ‘new rich’ come to mind. Lots of people drive low end Mercedes and BMW, love fine wine/fancy coffee, designer clothing. People pretend to be sophisticated, yet they live in a Metricon home in Berwick. Somehow this makes them feel ‘european’ and cultured.

        The people are awful, aggressive, rude.

  151. melbournians will tell you Melbourne is the NY, London, Paris, Jakarta, Baghdad and Birdsville of Australia – all simultaneously. Never has there been a city so desperate for recognition that deep down knows it’s just not that interesting or special…

  152. Not much longer till we go home

    It is run autocrat/plutocrats, who do believe human beings should have options and choices, as part of the heavily rednecked population who do not care or think about democracy, fairness. Who rule the place with an iron fist and staunchly against the poor being able to get anywhere. It is incredibly bogan, devoid of culture except it claims it is the cultural capital of Australia. There is an enormous tall poppy syndrome but no fair go exasperated by the fact that the majority of not Australian here. Hence the poor interpretation of Australian culture and culture full stop. You are not allowed to do anything. I am Aussie I do not judge others, I am a decent guy, I am not corrupt, and I do things fairly and democratically. Melbourne is a pyramid scheme created by the Keynesians and neo-liberalists to hereby make baby-boomers, and generation y’s and to rich, richer, middle-class the same, and the poor, poorer. It is ruled with an iron fist. Besides members of the CIA mentioned by Assange, there are foreign government officials, future state and federal government members who are from political lineages. Melbourne is about inheritance which is supposedly why it is like Europe. Where at home you talk to your local representative and they will New Zealand’s economy being fairer than Australia’s in Melbourne they do not care. Melbourne is the epitome of an unfair Australian economy. Keeping money within family’s, people, groups of people is part of that. Exacerbated by the selfishness of the selfishness of the bogans in the place who do not want to share. Class warfare from the hippies of the 1970s still exists in Melbourne. Which gets me to the major subcultures of Melbourne which are bogans and hippies and then there are yuppies. The many establishment types aforementioned make Melbourne an unbearably bureaucratic and undemocratic place. In Melbourne the group reigns supreme and if you come on your own you are at a huge disadvantage. People in Melbourne are very insular and judgemental and unforgiving and vindictive and they will hold you back on how you behave and judge by that. On how you spoke in the past i.e. how you spoke in the past, coupled by an enormous amount of superficiality as they have only hung out before with carbon copies of themselves. Think of utter emphasis on conformity, bad imitating of Australian culture i.e. Ocker ascents, but the people underneath it have no real Aussie values or mentality, dog eat dog American hipsters, who think they know everything instead. And underneath it these people are incredibly cynical, undermining and vindictive and fake. Think about quantity rather than quality. A place where local who are well loved and known have people who are from somewhere else try and pull the rug from underneath them. A place that is so rednecked that there are signs on shops saying no blacks, or they won’t pay you on time with a commission as you do not have a day job. Employers will use every loophole imaginable to take advantage of you. Where the art scene is incredibly old-fashioned, pre-punk, pre-everything and so scenie, where you have to had some type of success to begin with. Where formulaicness and unoriginality, predictability, repeated rosters of the same festivals of up and coming comedians or who they think will be successful, are put on display for all to see. This is another caveat it is all about how you seem, what the people think of you here. Melbourne foreigners and interstate people and Melbournians aspire to take down and undermine people with less money and power like myself, who are enormously popular. Where the tiny minded villagers of Melbourne will use your past against you. What sucks about Melbourne, the weather is survivable, but everything else is questionable? Melbourne is about domination and Melbourne is an abomination. The rich property developers, have overdeveloped the place and making themselves and the council’s filthy rich and you thought bill Gates was bad. Sponsored by elitist bogans from the 1950s. People here like to control everything.

    • The worst thing about Melbourne is everything!

      Because the people are always trying to outsmart other people in Melbourne. Because they are bogans.

      • What culture?

        Every time I am astonished by how bogan it is.

      • What culture?

        Every time I come back to Melbourne to visit I am always astonished by how bogan it is. Not bad for a place that claims to be the cultural harp of Australia. Capitalist cultural centre of Australia. And the people are incredibly competitive and selfish.

  153. Social ladder

    It is a good place to do nothing to do with your life. Unless you are willing to completely comply. Melbourne is most probably an experimental base for the American CIA. Where Europeans restrict you from doing what you want with your life as they see themselves as being superior to you.

    • The Weather is not just cold!

      Coldest place in Australia. Feckless, selfish.

      • The Weather is not just cold!

        Coldest people in Australia award.

      • Best ways to explain how Melbourne is the race that controls the past, controls the present, and therefore the future.

      • Best ways to explain how Melbourne is the race that controls the past, controls the present, and therefore the future. Ruling class of Melbourne.

  154. What culture?

    Class and culture are apparently materialism and your status in life. This is overly philosophical by the standards of the people here. They treat you like there is something wrong with you are not like that. In despotism and tyranny is endorsed and especially no thanks to the bogans who run Melbourne these days.

  155. What culture?

    What would be named bogan, yob, is considered classy in Melbourne. In Melbourne even the likes of Alan bond and Christopher skase are thought to be classy and cultured as they had money nothing dubious character and missdealings. Whereby the people behave in a similar manner. Do not come to Melbourne if you are poor. Exacerbated by the lack of human compassion, empathy, full of pomposity those who victimise and undermine the vulnerable.

  156. When I lived in the place last I had a saying ‘not for the last sixty years.’

    • Melbourne and Sydney are the same. Both are full of utter bogans who can even traverse both of them. Most of the cities are both full of predominantly foreigners who mimic Aussie culture. Yet they do not have the faintest idea of what it means to be Australian and are doing a poor imitation of the culture. Doing things that are not really Aussie.

      • Huge tall-poppy syndrome in Melbourne not much of a fair go. Arrogance, and undermining others are examples of traits that are not truly Aussie in Melbourne.

      • This illustrates that they do not really understand what the culture is about.

  157. Supremacists

    Banksy’s artwork is even painted over by other artists in Melbourne. Better art and murals have been painted over is an indication of the arrogance of the people here.

    • The people in Melbourne are vile. They suffer from tall poppy syndrome, they are cold, bitter, angry and smug. They are ‘faux rich.’ Often mentioning how they frequent art galleries and the theatre. They will spend their weekends going for coffee in graffitied laneways. The people are very interested in judging others.

      They will then tell you they Melbourne is the capital of the world.

      • I am not a capitalist!

        Upper-class people its there right to be a-holes you wonder why it is hard to get anywhere in Melbourne.

  158. Melbourne is full of rude, ignorant, horrid people

    Welcome to Melbourne- the stiff upper lip, fascist, Orwellian hell hole that prohibits freedom of speech. Just ask David Icke. Also full of rude filth who might run you over with a pram or trolley without stopping if you don’t get out of their majesty’s way. Don’t even get me started on the zombies fixated on their phones who fail to look where they’re going and bump into you without an apology. Melbourne has deteriorated into a disgusting horrid place full of creatures who act like their sh*t doesn’t stink.

  159. Absolutely spot-on. I live in Melbourne, and I hate the place. The people are completely out of touch with the rest of Australia and the world.

  160. Bland, flat, cold industrial concrete jungle. Could as well be an island state like Tasmania with an island mentality. Dislikes every other city in Australia except themselves. Sums up the delusional inward and arrogant mindset and state of affairs. Offers nothing special just a shopping mall culture which is a US invention, not European, however trying to convince themselves that they are sophisticated by drinking coffee like Europeans. There is no differentiator and the city does not offer anything unique!

  161. Fucking cold cunt of a city full of AFL obsessed meathead nutsacks. Fucking hate it so glad I never have to see it or it’s retarded footy fans again.

  162. Everywhere you go in Melbourne, there seems to be a vegan menu. Vegan hamburgers (what the f) and vegan cheese (also, what the f). Small talk is rife, nothing that meaningful. We get so bored because our interests are deep and different, but never get the chance to talk about them. Nobody is interested in different – what they are interested in is having you conform. There’s a tendency to get “stuck” in certain areas; people will follow like lemmings a common train of thought and think it’s “normal”. Like driving outside of the area. We actually leave the suburb, people. But that is considered outrageous. We run into incompetent people all day, every day, from businesses to pedestrians to motorists. The “dumb generation”.

  163. You want to know what else is unbelievable? Is when Melburnians go on holiday to Queensland and love it so much, but they arrive back home and say they had to “come back to reality”, then piss off to Phillip Island hoping to capture the same vibe. But they won’t move because their “lives are in Melbourne”. They’ve been had.

  164. I am a European who migrated to Brisbane years ago ( my dad’s bizarre decision to relocate across the World ). Absolutely HATED Brisbane and its bogan small-minded mentality. I could not wait to leave that provincial hell-hole. My biggest mistake though was to relocate to Melbourne, thinking it would be – according to its reputation – a sophisticated European city. Boy was I wrong ! Melbourne is just as parochial – and dare I say even more narrow-minded – than Brisie. Melbournians are UBER-CLICKY and antisocial, not curious at all about other cultures. And the AFL obsession !! As a teacher, I was shocked to see the indoctrination starts at such a young age, in primary school, they have a ‘ footy day ‘ where children parade around the school with their scarves and beanies representing their team.

    I also got the recurrent :” So, what team do you barrack for ? “. When I responded “I do not follow the footy “, the response I usually got was one of utter shock and horror . A bloke even told me ” But you live in Melbourne so you HAVE TO pick a team !! ” WTF …?? And I am not even a bloke myself. They just try to shove footy down your throat everywhere you go, it’;s sickening.
    After almost a decade of being miserable there, I decided to relocate to Brisvegas. Yes, Brisbane has more Bogans per capita but at least it is sunny here and people are on a whole a lot friendlier and more relaxed.
    My biggest regret in life is to have gone to Melbourne in the first place. I should have gone back to Europe instead of trying to settle in this depressing unwelcoming try-hard-European city wannabe – hell hole.

    • ChookRaffle

      Like religion, Melbourne needs to indoctrinate
      from birth to work properly. Live there without and you will clap comedian Larry Seinfeld’s view, that Melbourne is the arse end of the world

  165. I too really don’t like Melbourne. I moved here in 2003 for study and stayed for work. Left for five years, and then because I’d bought a house here made the mistake of returning – what was I thinking!. It is an incredibly insular place, full of nepotism. Melbournians look out for people in their ‘click’ and keep everyone else out. This way they can maintain their (ill earned) status and wealth (and accompanying self-perceived importance) and have all their friends telling them they deserve it. It is definitely a city based on ‘who you know’ and not ‘what you know’. The bullying at work that undermines anyone that is seen as a threat is appalling. I have also never felt more isolated in my life. People are superficially nice, but not truly welcoming and they don’t invite you in. For the most part they are also not interesting or engaged, so I suppose not being invited in isn’t such a loss – but I don’t think I can live without any social network at all forever. It really feels like a slow, lonely way to die. It is not at all a European city, it is a boring, dull, wasteland.

  166. Impoverished with no future

    Melbourne is like Europe you inherit your money. You inherit your position in life which is often predetermined for you. So the rest of the population does not know what to do, when jobs have to other people who are usually relatives or friends. And find it very hard to navigate the city on their own. So much for this modernist enlightenment idea of power to the individual. Melbourne is power to the bourgeoisie is a plutocratic oligarchy run by people with a common-cause which is to oppress the poor. Which is apparently a christian value. Even if your a wealthy celebrity there is such a tall poppy syndrome by the ruling bourgeoisie there they will still treat you like crap. Kill the poor get your gun out is the attitude in Melbourne. Let’s go poor people hunting, by a bunch of segregationalist liberals who autocratically run the place like ancient Rome, but how are supposed to start at the bottom when they will not let you start at all, or you will be at the bottom due to being poor and an individual for eternity. This is supposedly how it is akin to Europe do not worry the rich will undermine you.

  167. impoverished with no future

    The people are about as interesting as yeah but not but, it is so dull. Concrete jungle where the animals are the ex-grunger rich people who have inherited from their deceased parents who they have helped bring to their coffin. And their own children will probably do the same to them which are usually in threes. By the corporations which will eventually have a stranglehold over everybody in Melbourne. And the redneck hippies from the countryside originally who won’t let you do anything with your life.

  168. Business as usual

    In this day and age when the solutions to problems these days is to furnish the rich and corporations with more power. With much of the recovery of the world employing these methods.

  169. Business as usual

    Money printing, economic engineering, lower interest rates. Whose that of greatest benefit to do you think?

    The cunts on the streets of Melbourne who say they own the place, loudly proclaim that they do?

    The materialistic bourgeoisie hippies that have become yuppies?

  170. Business as usual

    P.S. A realist.

  171. Realist and they think you do not realise this?

    P.S. A realist.

  172. Realist and they think you do not realise this

    P.S. A realist

  173. insecure and I want to be rich: I will deliberately go out of my way to be rich and make fun of those who do not want, a sign of the times

    confidence and get rich quick to prove their superiority to other people scumbags. through behaving in a domineering manner and setting things up with their friends to be expedient to their own group new age hippies turned yuppy. People who think they know the facts of life more than anyone else who are willing to undermine others who are new age yuppies hence their superficiality and insensitivity. And superficial thought to be knowledge to themselves, others are fools its the group mentality. Coupled with hippy conservatism and redneckism and prevention which is part of their gravitating towards yuppiedom and humiliating those who are not willing to stoop to their level nor have the means to.

  174. Best place on earth

    Elitism in rife in Australia and you can not get anywhere unless you are reasonably bourgeoisie from a nice neighbourhood are reasonable well to do. Insecurity of those who will everything within their power to keep things the same. You only have to watch the victorian news to hear them talk about the bloody rat race, how the bourgeoisie are those that can succeed. Yet those who have succeeded in Melbourne do not observe this. Condescending English accents and horrible people who have money are thought to be classy. With their barrage of abuse in the form of insults, not giving them a fair go, preying on the insecurities of others unlike themselves not bourgeoisie. The pecking order of Melbourne is fixed and very much deliberate.

  175. Permanently lower middle class

    Because being upper class and being able to do things these days and do what you like. But being lower middle class is the opposite.

  176. Melbourne is fucked full of slimy Chinese scum and sudo dogs and the weather is fucked half the year

    • “Melbourne is fucked full of slimy Chinese scum and sudo dogs and the weather is fucked half the year”
      Melbourne is definitely shit and deserving of criticism but you’re just a racist piece of shit.

      • Agreed there’s no need to be like that get a life

      • Reasonably obervant.

        In Australia they won’t let you have a life. The whole country is rigged as a big Kangaroo court, by Americans and other bourgeoisie factors.

      • The realities of life

        The only people who are allowed to do things are millennials, bourgeoisie and the rich, as everyone else. Australia is a fascist country run by a ruling elite.

      • The realities of life

        Australia as a country is one where the only people who succeed or allowed to move on with their lives are the rich bourgeoisie. Australia is a fascist country.

      • The realities of life

        Australia as a country is one where the only people who succeed or allowed to move on with their lives are the rich bourgeoisie. Australia is a fascist country. Mates nepotism is practiced like there is no tomorrow.

      • Unconvinced otherwise yankee

        Unfortunately the Australian idea of liberal democracy is rigged and it is not all people have autonomy ‘fool,’ and have the right to do what they want with their life, regardless of who they are. Australia is controlled by the interests and desires of the imperialists Americans and the bigotry of those Americans and value system of those Americans which are different to our own. As well as bigotry and insularity of boganism which the Americans adopt for their own purposes, as well as the plethora of redneck or authoritarian aussies whether they be foreigners, anglo or other. Why do you do think people end up permanently in Australia and not in other countries that are much more liberally democratic. The country I grew up in they would just let you do what you want with your life regardless of who you were, what family you were born into, what friends you had, Australia is not like this. Australia is fascist, and they won’t let many of the citizens have a life, it is a rigged country. You go looking for work, you can give 100 cv’s out for low-skilled work and you get no-where. If you put your leg or arm there you get nowhere.

  177. Australia is so bogan, that it is not democratic

    No democracy in Australia, there is no way in this country to get a life, because of the Americans and the bogan cunts who just won’t let you do anything with your life. You go looking for work you get no where, you want to exhibit artwork you get no where. In Australia they won’t let you have a life. In Australia socio-economic mobility. This is because it’s rigged by bourgeoisie people from Australia and overseas, who especially hate the poor. Australia is not a democracy its a plutocracy and this is from someone that is Australia. They just won’t let you do things, much of it has to do with the ridiculous expectations and nepotism such as its not what you do it is how quickly you do it, if you produce lousy artwork, as long you start an art career quickly.

  178. Australia is a fascist joke

    There are so few resources in Australia that people battle it out over Bunnings jobs and in order to be tradies, which you need an apprenticeship for anyone. But you want you to have those jobs, early bird catches the worm that is how Australia operates, whose the worm recall that. Then we have neo nazi’s from other countries such as America and Britain and the countryside and you wonder why there is no democracy in Australia.

    • Fascism in Australia

      United states of fascism, which paradoxically Australia is part of. Enforced patronise to America, thought-police, life-style police the Americans are the evil empire. Australia is a police state, with the usage of torture outside of Guantanamo bay. The imperialist Americans ploy for world domination.

  179. Unpretentious done under!

    Have you got money capitalists and inheritors. And we can make heaps of money stealing the bounty from the earth.

    • Unpretentious done under!

      If you have not noticed this country is run and full of people who do give a rats azz about democracy. Please complain, what it boils is that problem that has no name, which also has its origins in the 1950s.

  180. Australia is fascist

    United states of fascism if you ask me and Australia’s part of it.

  181. Australia is not democratic

    United states of fascism which Australia is part of. Who are the thought-police and lifestyle police but the Americans.

  182. America is democratic, what does evil look like

    Which do object to more americano mussolini, americano stalin, americano hitler, or al franco americano. Because that’s the reality we reside in these days. What do think they all have in common?

    Answer:- United States of Fascism

    How do you like your fascism, do you have a choice, egg, bacon, beans, motzerela, and all brought to you by American corporation sponsored by a 1950s unquestioningness that is about making money at the end of the day. And you wonder why?

    Money means power that’s why the Chinese and Americans and Europeans want it and will try and outsmart those who are worse off than them to keep hold of it.

    • Imperialist prick

      Anybody remember the pharaohs of ancient Egypt or Napoleon Bona apart, then there was Genghis Ghan, these realities of life, how the world operates, the Germans in the second world war, the former Soviet Union, those with more rule over those who have less this Melbourne and the whole of Australia including that state of America the US. Then there were the jews, hitter, the peoples republic of china, 100 other serpents or conquerors with plans for world domination and control such as the US. The germans with Japanese in the second world war. Britain with apartheid, India and mahatma gandhi, the Dutch in the east indies, or sri lanka whatever it was. Now there’s the bourgeoisie and Donald Trump.

      • Competition and I won

        Half-wits with agendas all of them, and don’t you worry they don’t care about you. They just want to conquer you.

      • Competition

        And these people want to convince you that the proper way is to conquer, conquer your rights, conquer your rights and control you.

      • Competition

        And these people want to convince you that the proper way is to conquer, conquer your rights, conquer your rights and control you. And what is democracy by the way.

  183. Imperialism in a bottle like piss

    Macron does not hate Macron or the ruling elite who hates Macron is the French actually.

  184. An arrogant wealthy elitist c---

    Once upon a time there was this school called Geelong Grammar and all they taught their pupils was that they were superior and they hammered that into the ruling elite people who went and they were very callous the people who worked there. And you wonder why the world is the way it is, all this is a true story and how do I know this because my past stepdad went there.

    • An arrogant wealthy elitist

      The type of story you could go to sleep listening to wistfully if you were a kid. And the people who worked there were so arrogant and on themselves as according to a past resident who lived there. Because they worked in the most elite private school in the world at the time. You think Australia is elitist there maybe a reason why that is. Cite the unpretentious Kangaroo is you quote this online comment. By the way there is a nursery rhyme for it, but it has Hitler in it.

  185. An arrogant wealthy elitist c---

    Ever wonder why many of the most successful people in Melbourne have gone through Melbourne University or one of the Grammar School and you want to tell me Australia is an egalitarian society.

  186. An arrogant wealthy elitist c---

    Ever wonder why many of the most successful people in Melbourne have gone through Melbourne University or one of the Grammar School and you want to tell me Australia is an egalitarian society. Australia is about as democratic as Adolf Hitler’s Germany based on they think of you. In much the same way the tape water contaminated where the pipes are rusted.

  187. Ever wonder why many of the most successful people in Melbourne have gone through Melbourne University or one of the Grammar School and you want to tell me Australia is an egalitarian society. Australia is about as democratic as Adolf Hitler’s Germany based on they think of you. In much the same way the tape water contaminated where the pipes are rusted.

  188. Some are born more equal than others

    Ever wonder why many of the most successful people in Melbourne have gone through Melbourne University or one of the Grammar School and you want to tell me Australia is an egalitarian society. Australia is about as democratic as Adolf Hitler’s Germany based on they think of you. In much the same way the tape water contaminated where the pipes are rusted.

  189. Some are born more others

    Some are born more others. Others are just treated less equal than others, due the American lifestyle and thought-police. The rest of become less than others due to the Americans and their agenda.

  190. Animal Farm Australis

    In Australia those that the most patriotic that know that this is a competition will be rewarded. And those who are least patriotic to the Americans such as the average poor Australia will be punished. Everyone of the American George Orwell applies to our reality. Meanwhile the Chinese are looking at Australia from the sidelines, and there saying what is democracy, obviously it is imperfect. Enquiring what liberties does democracy guarantee anyway. And some of that is thanks to the Americans others because of the bourgeoisie who are intertwined with the Americans.

  191. Imperialist prick with a penis

    And who could forget that apparently about world control to scare the American people into obedience. You’re either with us or against us. Where in the deep end now and the Americans plans for world control. The world is losing respect for the Americans, did the world have respect for the Americans. CIA and they keep sending more bourgeoisie people our way.

  192. Contemporary modern world blasphamy

    Yes:- Who could forgot 1911 when the American NSA allowed a terrorist to hijack an airplane and send towards the world trade centre. Causing the deaths of many of its own citizens. And the world has never been the same since. The war on terror, the war on freedom, the war on democracy, the war against common people who are either not part of the ruling elite or want to do to do what the ruling elite want them. The Americans enormous desire to finally win something. Hence the world we live in these days, the ineffectual demolishment of genuine democracy, enforced patriotism, even David Sedaris is dead. Maybe he had too much anti-American sentiment, and what these people have against your typical Aussie. Do things in life as quickly as possible or you won’t be able to get anywhere, or maybe these hicks, took Michel Foucault’s words too literally. Middle-class fast-food culture, and democracy nowhere in sight taken over by opinionated rednecks.

  193. Contemporary fascism

    And the bloody hippies who wanted to order the world according to who they thought were gifted or chosen ones (golden ones), are given preference over everyone else.

  194. British Guru

    Like London they treat people like inferiors and like crap, because apparently it will teach them a lesson and its spiritual.

  195. British Guru

    That is correct through being horrible and hard.

  196. Life these days

    Our democracy has been sabotaged by people with agendas, who think that life’s easy as they are bourgeoisie and it has been rigged.

  197. One of those neo nazi hippies with an agenda

    With short hair they still come across as arrogant, authoritarian and chauvinistic hicks that are hippie nazi’s even with that. Who are out of touch, who think it is easy because they are so bourgeoisie and others who just like them and think their smart will give them a fair go. And think highly of them as they are just like themselves, your out on your own, but they will help each other. Thanks Steve Bannon’s of the world, Manson’s and other fascist, arrogant fake, chauvinistic turds, rigged.

  198. Who think the public’s fooled small slice of liberty, just like Donald Trump.

  199. one of the fascists

    Hipsters are tryhard materialistic, capitalist, bourgeoisie this and that, who are sponsored by the CIA, who are former bogan hippies that are archaic dinaosaurs.

  200. Full of 19th century country people and Americans who are fans of the Simpsons who take it word for word as how reality is.

  201. Not born in the 1950s I don't like this current decade

    People no longer trust the government, because of the world these days with people long term unemployed, the half-wits that are attempting to regurgitate the 1950s or 19th century. Basing things on how intelligent they think you are, this enforced bourgeosieism. Everybody must be the same. People effectually brainwashed, in this day and age. Advertisements promoting the bourgeoisie and bourgeoisie way of life and an unquestioningness. You want to tell me to get a life. When I was growing up it was a genuine democracy, no-censors in the form of big industry and the bourgeoisie and the powers that be. Along arrives firstly the 90s where you are not allowed to do anything with your life unless you are bourgeoisie and unbelievable restrictions placed on you and conservatism. But these days it is even worse.

  202. Not born in the 1950s I don't like the current decade

    People no longer trust the government, because of the world these days with people long term unemployed, the half-wits that are attempting to regurgitate the 1950s or 19th century. Basing things on how intelligent they think you are, this enforced bourgeosieism. Everybody must be the same. People effectually brainwashed, in this day and age. Advertisements promoting the bourgeoisie and bourgeoisie way of life and an unquestioningness. You want to tell me to get a life. When I was growing up it was a genuine democracy, no-censors in the form of big industry and the bourgeoisie and the powers that be. Along arrives firstly the 90s where you are not allowed to do anything with your life unless you are bourgeoisie and unbelievable restrictions placed on you and conservatism. But these days it is even worse. You live in the northern rivers where all the hippies are it is like going back to a place more conservative than the 1950s.

  203. Not brought up in the 1950s I don't like this decade

    People no longer trust the government, because of the world these days with people long term unemployed, the half-wits that are attempting to regurgitate the 1950s or 19th century. Basing things on how intelligent they think you are, this enforced bourgeosieism. Everybody must be the same. People effectually brainwashed, in this day and age. Advertisements promoting the bourgeoisie and bourgeoisie way of life and an unquestioningness. You want to tell me to get a life. When I was growing up it was a genuine democracy, no-censors in the form of big industry and the bourgeoisie and the powers that be. Along arrives firstly the 90s where you are not allowed to do anything with your life unless you are bourgeoisie and unbelievable restrictions placed on you and conservatism. But these days it is even worse. You live in the northern rivers where all the hippies are it is like going back to a place more conservative than the 1950s.

    Not brought up in the 1950s I don’t like this decade

  204. There is no democracy anymore when people are so up themselves

    How hot they think they are, fascists. Agendas of the bourgeoisie and other powerful, influential individuals. I hate the 1950s.

  205. Liberty used to exist

    Shame there is no democracy or you would have autonomy over your life not just for the chosen ones and the reasonably well off.

  206. Remember the novue rich c---s

    If you were genuinely upper class there would be no need for you ruthless and dog-eat-dog, nor would you prevent other people from acquiring money as you already be rich.

  207. Melbourne really does suck. I was born there I grew up there… I should know the truth is there is nothing here most people are racist and pretty lame, the weather is even worse, don’t even get me started on the public transport…. I’m 30 years old i lived in Melbourne my past whole life until
    I finally moved to Adelaide six months ago I used to always hear people talk bad about Adelaide but the fact is it’s way better than Melbourne
    Melbourne might have had some good things about it 10 years ago but ever since then it just keeps getting worse and worse… Believe me
    This is not a hate speech I’m giving. There is a lot of things very very wrong with Melbourne… If you can’t see that or believe it try living there
    And if you still can’t see it… Your defenetly in denial…

  208. Melbourne Stinks

    Melbourne=Virtue signalling 3rd world trash

  209. I really enjoy my life in Melbourne to the fullest. born and brought up in this lively urban city I have seen many shades of its culture. Every city with a big population has some cons too, but the suburban life in Melbourne completes if there are any drawbacks. for people working near CBD they have plenty of options to commute from nearby suburbs.

  210. Dog eat dog westerner hippies, who are definitely not eastern.

  211. But everything about the hippies and what they do and their mentality is western, from preferring complexity, to being bourgeoisie.

  212. I grew up in Melbourne too. Melbourne is full of insular, conformist bogans, who are rigid and conservative, and bourgeoisie and old-fashioned like most of Australia who are rednecks, who won’t give people a fair-go and hence people’s lives don’t move forward. Where the focus is on competition and dog eat dog which is also very Australian mixed in with bourgeoisie elitism, and expectations and total emphasis on conformity. The galleries are conformists to fashion and therefore most of it is garbage, these attributes are very Aussie. Unfair and undemocratic that is Australia for you.

  213. Adding to it, an obliviousness and lack of self-awareness which is also very Aussie.

  214. For a society which is a rat race, or competition, if you may.

  215. Traditional and old fashioned, small slice of liberty, conformist.

  216. What we are being sold these days, this bourgeoisie-ism has appeal to 1% of the population. Works for 1% of the population.

  217. A healthy democracy, everyone is allowed to do what they want with their lives, and have autonomy, within reason. Our democracy in Melbourne you apply for things you get nothing but rejections. No fair go. Maybe they are hoping to turn you into a neo nazi by marginalizing you in Australia.

  218. Australia- A penal colony

    Where I am from which is Melbourne they test and judge whether you’re a man, by brutal excoriation of both mind and body, with physical and psychological torment, involving injury and capital punishment. As well as capital punishment there is good behaviour bond and you can buy yourself out of prison, because it is a prison. Although some dishonest people will deny this and probably might try and hunt me down and kill me, I am willing to take that risk. At this stage of my life and not being able to get anywhere in the place, I do not think it would make any difference anyway.

  219. Australia- A penal colony

    Alpha male, like place.

  220. Australia- A penal colony

    I would but you have me pinned.

  221. Subverting responsibility

    In Melbourne they adhere probes to you, then they pelt stones at you and finally they say social media made them do it.

  222. Ruling Class

    They pulverise your bones in Melbourne, then they use the resulting pestle, cowboy train drivers, bad tram and bus drivers, then they will pretend you have forgotten already or deny it.

    • Soon-to-be-ex Melbinian

      Melbourne is indeed a horrible city, but judging by the hundreds of rambling posts you’ve created over the last year (making it difficult to read the legitimate comments on this obviously-unmoderated page), you need some serious help.

      • Response to a hostile majority

        I think the problem with this country and the reason it operates the way it does, which is extremely unfair, is people such as yourself, who have a poor sense of boundaries. Aussies both new and old have a poor sense of boundaries, but they are conformists.

      • Maybe you should help yourself.

      • You must be one of those dishonest, self-serving, weaklings, self-righteous, arrogant, insular and judgemental, fake, control freak hippies, who invaded Melbourne in the beginning of this decade. That just happens to only like the least alternative music and everything from the decade of my childhood. The real hippies all became yuppies and straight people in that decade. Although probably still connected with the CIA. But what do you expect for something that is not really a subculture, I’m going underground. Yes, I am emotionally disturbed and f-ed up, unlike insecure probably hippie self I don’t care. You were to begin with when landed in Melbourne probably one of those emotionally and physically violent people, unlike myself, not that you recall ( perhaps under the influence of drugs).

      • Plastic bubble from man, who asked you bloody bourgeoisie hippie twat, yes I am emotionally disturbed. Live with it.

      • Hippie, I am emotionally disturbed and then you abused me in the streets, not that you recall that man.

      • What type of plastic bubble world you from?

        Really get wrapped in cotton wool that much, deep within suburbia?

      • Impoverished

        I am one of those horrible poor people.

      • You don’t like Melbourne because it is dark and intense. What type of suburban paradise are you from Mickey mouse. Dismembered bodies, tendons severed and blood pouring out. Shattered contorted bones.

      • Blood curdling, and snarling.

  223. Response to a hostile majority

    You must be one of those people who invaded Melbourne, who was one of those hippies, who took themselves overly-seriously, who thought they were smart-asses, who have no self-awareness, with a penchant for stigmatizing vulnerable people. One of those people who made Melbourne a hell-hole, I doubt you remember what you did though. You probably can not even recall why you hate Melbourne. Which means either your dishonest, self-deceiving or really can not recall what you did you dastard. Scared all the time, with no sense of humor to speak of. Who was annoying as all hell, and passive aggressive, not genuine nice and hard as can be.

  224. My name:- Frozen Cold, look for me online

    How old skool they think us Melbournians are who are hippies that invaded Melbourne. To quote the lyrics if I am still alive due to the thought-police hippies a and from the seventies called Magazine ‘I do not think you people are really so sweet.’ Power-tripping, control freaks.

  225. Frozen Cold

    Icy cold and pitch black. It’s a free country. Don’t you remember what you did and said. People that do things that normally individuals would be too scared to do, as they would be sued for it.

  226. Frozen Cold

    Warmth is also connected with demons and the fires of hell, bloody hippies, remember that?

  227. Long time veteran

    I have lived in Australia a long time. What I put it down to, not being able to get anywhere, is the people. The people of Australia are rigid, conservative, insular people.

    • Long time veteran

      I don’t remember people ever saying that we thought we were stupid when we were growing up in a foreign country. But in Australia they do.

  228. Cockroaches, rodents.

  229. You have no idea how sick in the head I am, by the sterilised plastic bubble are you from.

  230. It coloured most of my teenage in pitched blackness.

  231. I spent 3 days in Melbourne and I thought what’s wrong with me only seeing negative things about this city. I’m glad it’s not just me!
    What a shame and disappointment Melbourne is!
    The attitude of the city is not welcoming at all. And I read different people mentioning “if you’re single” that’s do true.
    I am so glad I don’t have to deal with these people everyday. Such an overrated place.

  232. Contemporary concentration camp: whatever happened to common-sense

    If somebody deprived you of things, such as the things of life, called you names day in, day out, told you how stupid they thought you were day in, day out, undermined you, and bullied you, judged you, treated you unfairly, would you think that was nice.

  233. Life these days: Shame about common-sense

    If somebody, deprived you of things, bullied you day in, day out, undermined you, told you how stupid they thought you were day in, day out, treated you unfairly, would you think they were nice.

  234. Australia is fascist: Anonymous

    Only the middle-class are allowed to succeed or do things in Australia, of the enormous rigidity and conservatism of Australian culture. Australia is so elitist, that only the middle-class are allowed to do anything with their life in country. All based on what they personally think of you.

  235. Australia is fascist

    The Australian Experience.

  236. The problem Australia

    Even though I am not christian I deem arrogance and having a high-opinion of oneself as being Demonical. And people that are up themselves as doing bad things due to their high-opinion of themselves. More readily inclined to pull others down be uncensored, unrestrained those that are up themselves. This is in spite of not being Christian. I see people that are arrogant and up themselves as being evil. And indulging in some kind of hedonistic satanism through being up themselves.

  237. Contorted culture: Egomaniacal wankers of Oz

    When I moved back to Australia, my impression was Australians were supposed to be humble, instead they were egomaniacs, who were full of themselves, who will not hire you unless you are a total dick, and you are treated something wrong with you unless your a wanker and full of yourself, wankers of Australia, on top of it think they are more Australian than you.

  238. Are horrible, how come because they are so up themselves, apparently not considered the case in Australia these days.

  239. Opinions of bogans in Australia

    Some based on arbitrary whim of individuals, are from gossip, others based on stereotypes, all and all non-sense.

  240. Culture, I am a hippy yob, say yob. Psychedelic yob, wee.

  241. Yob, I'm the hippy man!

    Over-serious, hippy yob, I promise you I am a harder worker, man. Competition man.

  242. You're not a real nerd or geek1

    Full of self-labelling poseurs, who do not fit the definition of what they say they are. Competitive, insensitive jocks, that’s Australia.

  243. You're not a nerd or geek: Stop posing

    I all my years avoiding competitive because I thought it was un-evolved and boring, from a very young age. My mum got me a dog which I hated as they thought it would make me more physically active as a kid. I used to love anything electrical or mechanical or anything like Asterix, or Fantasy Books, just to read a bit of them. Everyone I have ever played Chess against I have beaten. I got 20 something when I used to play Galaga. Even though I put a minimum effort into VCE I still passed and was a mess. I’m the real thing, unlike these poseurs.

  244. You're not a nerd or geek: Stop posing

    I starved myself almost to death because I said I did not want to feel so bad anymore. I did not have many friends in school, as I was too shy and timid, I’m the real thing.

  245. Observations about so-called subcultures

    Hippies, you can not possibly have a brain, unless you are conforming, making money and being bourgeoisie. It must be this idea that you are somehow maladjusted, unless you are part of society, hippie intellectualism. The hippies are all about conformity and being bourgeoisie.

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