Brisbane

Raining one day, Flooding the next

Queensland’s Sub Tropical paradise has two seasons, storm season and winter.  A singlet is worn in the humid storm season and a tshirt in winter. If the singlet is being washed and it is hot, then it is acceptable to wear no shirt at all and a pair of Queensland mowing shoes (bare feet). That’s the dress code dealt with.  The huge population growth of recent years was due to the price drop and availability of domestic air conditioning.  This opened the doors to large numbers of interstate migrants from the south who had not previoulsy been able to cope with the humidity.  After cashing in their Sydney/Melbourne property, they could head north and be very comfortable staying indoors throughout the storm season.   New arrivals just had to get used to the idea that wooden houses on stilts, that anywhere else would be a shed, constitutes a very desirable residence.  This population movement has stopped now Brisbane is as expensive as everywhere else.

The Brisbane River is headed by the massive Wivenhoe dam and runs through the city, out to Moreton Bay.  In early 2011, due to more rain than usual, the local water authority had to release so much water from the Wivenhoe dam that it flooded the city.  This highlighted the silliness of building on flood plains.

Brisbane’s claim to fame is the 1982 commonwealth games, 1988 World Expo and that fact that Brisbane is the largest local council in the country, exciting stuff.

The site of the 1988 Expo is now the tourist trap, Southbank.  It has a “city beach’ which is a very sensible  place to swim as the river, twenty metres away is full of aggressive bull sharks who are at ease in fresh water, especially around people.  There is one of Australia’s best museums there, the museum of modern art (MOMA) it is magnificent and very popular with visitors but not with the locals, who prefer the casino pokies, a complete waste of a stunning building.

What was once a country town, is now a moderately large city and Brisbane has celebrated this with a multitude of building and roadworks that often grinds the city to a halt, slowing traffic down to Sydney speeds.  With so many people arriving to live in Brisbane, the born and bred queenslanders are not happy, so if you didn’t attend the same school as your neighbour before all the “mexicans” started arriving, don’t expect a BBQ invite for at least sixteen years.

The sun definitely shines between the rainfall and the temperature is always too warm.   The sweat stains and odours of armpits on any crowded, air conditionless commuter train will confirm that a sub tropical climate, is a heavy sweating climate. Don’t forget to take water.

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  1. Chester Man

    Terrible food nothing to do and full of sweaty overweight greasy faced bogans who talk of nothing but fishing and their hatred of the rest of Australia. Commiserations if you have to go there.

  2. In the Brisbane TV Expo 88 video the female presenter with embarrassing early 80s hair says “It will be the most fantastic show Brisbane has ever seen or will ever see” she was right there, nothings happened since.

  3. A poor man’s Sydney without any excitement.

  4. I love the city itself. It’s just unfortunate it’s filled to the brim with bogans, white trash and backward hicks whose life goals are all broncos related, and for whom a trip overseas means going to Moreton Island….

  5. unfortunately, its overrun with bogans

  6. The voice of reason

    Whats keeping me here.. well its NOT racism, backward thinking, rednecks, bogans, over regulation, no daylight saving, crap food, expensive EVERYTHING, police on every corner, being fined for simply existing… all of which abound in this hick town, it IS a shared custody arrangement with my ex, trust mre… if it was not for that id be gone in 000000.1 of a second

    I lived in Sydney for 18 years and my 18 months up here has been hell.. this is without doubt the most retarded city i have ever had the misfortune to live in (and i have travelled a fair bit)

    only 6 years to go and my daughter is 18, and with that… ill be gone.

    You want an Example of the wonderfulness of the lovely Brisbane people, last week me and my Thai wife and two month old son were in a shop at Orion and these two disgusting old bogans blocked my wifes path, she had the baby in a carrier on her chest, when i asked them what they were doing, they turned to me and said “you did not have to buy her did you” This is at my local shops!!!

    brisbane is disgusting, its like being in the 1950’s living here

  7. The only problem with Brisbane is that there are Queenslanders there.

  8. I (and many others) however have noticed a really unpleasant parochialism in this city. Friends say it can affect their ability to do business and mix socially and thus some business will avoid the place. This is a problem for Brisbane there is still a quite pronounced xenophobia here though people coming from elsewhere seems to be breaking this down. Brisbane people generally don’t seem to realise this.

  9. Taken from the National Times article “Why hit on Brisbane” by Conal Hanna 10-08-11

    We didn’t publish these as part of this morning’s update, because the story had specifically asked for positive contributions, but you can read the full list here. Below is a sample selection:

    Expensive, overrated, congested;
    Not very good;
    Very bloody expensive;
    NIMBY, banana whingers.
    Dirty, ugly concrete;
    Over-rated, over-priced, over-regulated;
    Lost its soul;
    Pretty shitty city;
    Let me out;
    Death’s like this.

  10. …”Whilst the winters are perfect, the summers are unbearably stinkingly humid. A Brisbane summer is a great climate for a holiday, but I’m sick and tired of getting sweaty and uncomfortable just walking to and from the train on my way to work, or doing any kind of outside activity.
    Another reason is the city’s obsession with thugby league, asssisted greatly by the monopoly that News Ltd has here. If I see one more headline along the lines of “Bronco Player Loses Thong” I will scream. At least the similar blanket coverage of AFL in the southern states is about a sport where the possession of neurons or a neck is not a disadvantage.
    I don’t think Brisbane lacks decent coffee eateries theatre etc. If we could install a giant air-conditioned dome over the whole city in summer I might even enjoy living here.”

  11. Persnickety

    ..”What I don’t like is how unsafe it feels at night. I’ve lived in London, Paris, Geneva, the US (various locations) and Japan. Brisbane by night is not nice. This includes the suburbs. It’s poorly lit, most suburban roads seem to have no footpath (forcing one to risk the road or the grassy strip ), and just plain feels unsafe. Here, I don’t want to take a wander 15 minutes up the road to get to the supermarket before it shuts. Why does Times Square feel safer than the Brisbane CBD in the evening?
    Part of this is a community thing- I barely know my neighbours, they barely know me- i most of the other places I lived there was more effort to ensure you knew people on the street (I could have done without the garbage nazi grandma in Japan though). We don’t seem to care that Brisbane is a terrible place to be late at night, if we did the various organisations involved would do something.” Courier Mail

  12. USA USA USA

    A good general discussion on Sydney and other places is at http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/lifestyle/life/shrimp-on-the-barbie-more-like-the-raw-prawn-for-unsocial-australians-20111025-1mi97.html?comments=203#comments
    Very honest comments popping the ‘Friendly Australia’ Myth

  13. Ivan Apellle

    The locals get excited when Hall and Oates come to town to play in a big warehouse. The local radio ‘612 brisbane’ has been hijacked by poms continually referencing their trips/lives in the UK. The best thing is that price of flights to Sydney have come down. Oh and no one can say maroon properly.

  14. Queenslanders have not forgotten the Brisbane line when the southern states tried to abandon Queensland to the Japs in WW2 ,this is what justifyes Queenslanders hatred of other states.

  15. Brisbane’s biggest attraction is its location but the city is a bit of a backwater. If you must live here then live on the west/northwest where it is very hilly and leafy.
    The inner city though has become awfully overcrowded. There is a lack of amenities and dozens of ugly, cheaply built apartment blocks going up all over the place. I would not want to live here in 10 years time….

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